Beee

PMing | Wine | Beach | Open source

[Hafsah❤️ @RufaiHafsat1]

“Hope you’re not a feminist”

Baba okomi, oti shileya o

[Daniel @danielokey_]

Startups

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@sidealagos Love love venom!

[Side A Lagos @sidealagos]

First discovered Little Simz through Top Boy, where she played Shelley.

At the time, we genuinely had no idea she was also one of the most exciting artists making music today.

The we moment stumbled across her music and realised how incredible she is, she’s been on steady rotation.

It’s your turn now, tell us what your favourite Little Simz record is.

If today’s your first time listening, come back and tell us which song made you stay. 🎧💜

Photo credit: Ekua King for ELLE UK.
Source: Fashiontography

#tgif
#newmusicfridays
#sidealagos

[obiamaka @ama4evrr]

there’s no thinking happening. im as surprised as you at what I just said

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@Dave_scr1pt Lol mind your business 👀

[Oyinkansola @oyinkanbadejo]

The slack music that plays when someone airs your huddle feels like rage bait

[Ojas Sharma @OjasSharma276]

just heard someone pronounce C++ as "C plus plus"

[lilith @__chiamaka]

songwriting is such an amazing art form.
the way an artist is able to interpret the exact doldrum you’re in and depict it so beautifully in their songwriting 🥺

[SUNFLOWER 🌻 @sunflowerchives]

Lego flowers

[𝑚𝑎𝑖❀ @veryfinemelanin]

I love liking someone new it's sooo funn

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@sidealagos Ugh jorja’s voice 🤤

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@sidealagos The intro 🔥

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@sidealagos Lavender and velvet by Alina Baraz

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@sidealagos Fantasy by Alina Baraz & Galimatias

[Lazy IT Guy @lazy_IT_guy]

Our CFO noticed we spend $65K a month on a proprietary cybersecurity platform called Sentinel Protocol.

She scheduled a meeting with me to discuss our enterprise software expenditures.

She wanted to know why our licensing fees had increased by 15% year over year.

I told her Sentinel Protocol is the only thing standing between our corporate data and a highly coordinated North Korean ransomware syndicate.

I explained that it uses a polymorphic encryption manifold to dynamically scrub our inbound packets.

She asked if she could get a Zoom meeting with their customer success team to discuss a volume discount.

I told her I'd set it up immediately.

The problem is that Sentinel Protocol doesn't exist.

It's an LLC I registered in Delaware 4 years ago.

I'm Sentinel Protocol.

My entire cybersecurity platform is just a batch script I wrote in 2018 that restarts our routers every Sunday at 3 AM.

The script took me 14 minutes to write.

I realized very early in my career that executives will never question a line item if you use the word quantum or heuristic.

But now the CFO wanted to speak to the vendor.

I went on Fiverr and hired a struggling voice actor from Chicago for $45.

I told him his character was a high-powered Silicon Valley tech bro who just drank 3 Celsius energy drinks.

I wrote him a 4-page script composed entirely of weaponized IT buzzwords.

He showed up to the Zoom call wearing a Patagonia fleece vest and introduced himself as the VP of Customer Success.

He was absolutely phenomenal.

When the CFO asked about lowering the cost, he scoffed.

He told her that downgrading our service tier would expose our legacy endpoints to asynchronous tunneling attacks.

He leaned into the webcam and asked if she was prepared to explain a catastrophic data breach to the shareholders.

She apologized for questioning the infrastructure.

Before the call ended, my Fiverr actor successfully up-sold her on a $12K biometric redundancy package.

I don't even know what a biometric redundancy package is.

I tipped the actor $100 and told him I'd need him again next quarter.

The CFO sent me an email thanking me for managing such a crucial vendor relationship.

I just used the new budget increase to buy a pontoon boat.

[• hatti @Whohewas0]

me remembering the time i lost my absolute mind over someone i knew for 3 months (we also never dated) just because the person was the first person to make me feel something after not feeling anything for so long

[⏾ @spideraeri]

went to the shop in my spider-man top, jorts & crocs and i was matching with a toddler

[Beee @beebee_aj_]

@sidealagos Entergalactic 🫶🏽💜

[SP @sspencerukk]

They’re calling it the most Friday Thursday on record