Beb

Games, shit, general chaos | he/they

[serial orc enthusiast @eternalseething]

Warcraft III as written by the modern team would be Arthas getting talked down at Stratholme in 30 seconds then they find a cure to the plague 5 minutes later and it's revealed Thrall was the main villain all along 5 minutes after that

[Grox @that_kind_oforc]

Also the story of 12.1 completely ruins ZA

We've gone full "the trolls who call out elven colonisation, talks about their loss of culture and challenges that and is loudly PRO Amani - are EXPLICITY the only bad Amani"

its the "angry native is the bad native" trope

[Grox @that_kind_oforc]

IT GETS FUNNIER

Blizz writers will come up with an awful “spare the racist zealot fascist because decency” story and then go write a story where the native is too mad from colonisation so he has to be corrupted and killed

Peak yt liberal Americans who think they’re progressive

[Bigmoran @Bigmoranx]

It's crazy man. 🧵

People who don't work for Blizzard at all are creating just as much, if not more "PvP content" than Blizzard themselves.

This is the Overlord addon, which "transforms Azeroth into a living battlefield by adding a dynamic capture-point system to World PvP." 👇

[Jyggalag, Princess of Order @_Jyggalag_]

Folks, let me tell you about this Talos situation. It's a total disaster. A complete and total disaster. Talos? Great warrior back in the day, they say. Maybe the best, some people are saying. But let me tell you, his time is over. Done. We're ending the worship of Talos.

[Miaw @Miaw]

1000 kpm ( kiss per minute )

[Julia @Julia_CaSsian]

I tried to give Path of Exile 2 a chance with this Return of the Ancients patch but i can't even get past character creation. Fix the game

[jezz @JezziiB]

“The government doesn't owe you anything!”
Buddy, I pay taxes.
The government damn well owes me a LOT.

[turbomander @turbomander]

give me a pack of newports and a single spell slot and i’ll save the realm

[WeakAuras @WeakAuras]

Pringles are not the only ones giving out Thunder-Ridged Elekk!

12.0.5 is here on April 22nd, and we're giving away fancy elephants to the community.

1⃣ Like
2⃣ Retweet
3⃣ Follow

🏅 Winner will be chosen April 27th #WoW_Partner

[⟢emi 🦇 @wifugf]

when I’m on a 7 game losing streak and my duo asks me to hop on

[Abyss (follow for bangers) @Abyss_ix]

Baus reportedly SKEPTICAL of String Theory.

"It's just not conclusive enough. A theoretical framework of such large magnitude is impossible to test empirically."

[gravy the human 🔜Blizzcon26 @GravyTheHuman]

greatest to ever do it @Thdlock

[kellen @kellendh]

THE FUCKING THUD SALUTE INTO THE KILL PULL THIS KILL WAS PROMISED TO HIM

[Liquid Guild @LiquidGuild]

look up

[BSF 🇬🇧🐀 @BSF42069]

We’ve come a long way

[Beb @beenajammin]

@Pinkwardlol This is off the top of my head so take it with a grain of salt, but as i remember expansions generally last two years and TWW was just over a year and a half. Also I’m pretty sure blizzard said they were going to have shorter expansions for the World Soul Saga

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"As a knight," the king says, "it is your duty to kill dragons."

"Very well, my Liege," the knight replies. "But may I ask why?"

"Why?" The king blinks. "Because they steal and hoard wealth, and the people live in fear of their capricious moods."

"Very well, my Liege," the knight says, reaching for his sword.

The king cocks a brow. "You really didn't know that?"

The knight halts. "Know what?"

"About dragons."

"No, I—"

"Every knock-kneed page knows why we kill dragons."

"Yes but—"

"Did you flunk Squireship 101? Do I need to explain princesses too?"

"I know how princesses work!"

The king chuckles. "I've been the father of one for nine years and I assure you, good knight, no one knows how princesses work."

"And I was doing a bit!"

"A bit?" The king scoffs. "My knights are doing bits now? Should we dress our jesters in full plate?"

The knight unsheathes his sword. "Enough!"

The king's eyes narrow. "I do not care for this bit one bit, jester-knight."

The knight points the blade at his royal quarry. "Through clever analogy, I have already used your own royal words to demonstrate that there is no difference between kings and dragons!"

"Analogy?"

"You know! The thing about wealth!" The knight wiggles the blade. "And your moods!"

"Ah," the king says. "A crass attempt at implied parallelism."

"A king is a pillager-tyrant and the taxes he levies make him no different from any gold-stealing great wyrm! Understand?"

"I do, now. Yes." The king nods. "If you would permit me a small question before you cut me down. A quibble really—"

"What?!"

"What do you intend to do about the ensuing crisis of succession?"

"The ensuing what?"

"My daughter is not yet old enough to be queen and, I fear, may always lack the proper temperament to rule with prudence."

"Er, because she's a woman or because of her disposition?"

"Both."

"Ah."

"In her stead, the Duke of Silvermere would govern as my appointed Lord Regent."

"Okay." The knight shrugs. "That hardly seems like a crisis—"

"But." The king cuts him off. "My nephew in the North and my uncle to the East would never allow it. Day by day, month by month, year after year, they have worked tirelessly to amass wealth, power, and men. Before my corpse was cold, each would lay claim to the throne by Dynastic right."

"So?" The knight sneers. "What do I care about your bickering family—"

"The Barons!" The king cuts him off again. "—would split their allegiances as they vied for land, fortune, and their own survival. Assassins would be dispatched. Grain fields would burn. And this once great kingdom would descend into famine and horror over the next two or three decades of bloody civil war."

"..."

"Maybe even four. Maybe ten." The king gauges the knight's reaction. "Your tongue lies still. You gave no thought to the hell to come?"

"I..."

"Perhaps you intended to usurp the throne for yourself?" The king muses. "As a kingslayer, I promise, you wouldn't live to see the sunset."

"I thought..." The knight lowers his sword. "...I mean, I was just going to give everyone...you know."

"Hm?"

"Liberty."

"Liberty?"

"For the people."

"Ah." The king tuts. "And what would they do with that, prithee tell?"

"Well—"

"Can they sell it?"

"No."

"Sleep on it?"

"No."

"Will it shelter them in a savage storm?"

"No, but—"

"When a child cries out for sustenance and his mother's breast runs dry, can it be consumed?"

"No. I mean, I don't think so—"

"What good then is liberty to the people, hm? The same people in whose name you would have me slain?"

"Enough!" The knight shakes his head and raises the blade again. "You're just trying to confuse me with clever words! Like a dragon would!"

"Confuse you? By asking basic questions regarding basic logic?" The king sighs. "I gotta figure out what the hell the chaplain is teaching these pages."

"The heart of every man, woman, and child cries out for liberty!" The knight heroically declares. "And I will slay every king, queen, duke, and baron until they have it!"

"I see. Well, you're constant, I'll give you that." The king snaps his fingers. "Guard."

From behind a nearby stone pillar, a guard steps out with a primed crossbow in hand.

"Oh." The knight slumps. "Serpent's sack." He looks at the king. "You said you'd grant me a private audience."

"A king can never be too cautious." He shrugs. "And words of reproach from an aspiring traitor? You're not one to be quibbling over false pretenses, are you jester-knight?"

"I am only a traitor to—"

FWIP

THUD

The knight crumples to the floor, an arrow protruding from his chest.

The guard lowers his crossbow and salutes. "The traitor is down, my Leige!"

"Indeed." The king rises from his throne and strolls over to the fallen. "What did you think of his words?"

"His words, my Liege?"

"About Liberty." A pool of blood swells around the body. The king kneels.

"Crock of piss all that."

"Heh."

"And about as useful too. Liberty? Bah! Who would even dream up a fool thing like that?"

"Who indeed...." The King reaches out and tightly grasps the flesh of the fallen knight's cheek. "Or rather, what?"

The guard tilts his head. "My Liege?"

The king rips the flesh away, revealing the long snout and shimmering crimson scales of a dragon's head.

"Godsblood!" The guard cries. Frantically, he loads another bolt into the crossbow.

The king raises his hand. "Easy, guard."

The guard steps forward, crossbow aimed. "Step aside, my Leige. I'll put another 10 to 20 in the beast for good measure."

The king shakes his head. "Your first shot struck true. Behold, the life is gone from his eyes."

The king's word proves true. The beast lies still and the glassy black orbs hold no light, naught but voids.

"Even so..." The guard says, uneasy.

"Go and fetch the royal alchemist."

"My Liege?"

"A single dragonscale holds untold power. He will be delighted to harvest the reagents."

"But—"

"Go," the King commands.

The guard salutes. "My Liege!" And out of the room, he dashes.

"Heh." The dragon knight rasps, blood seeping from his slack jaw. "The light hasn't left me yet."

"I know." The king says, tearing the false flesh from his own face. "But these eyes fool everyone."

The dragon knight scoffs, hacking up blood. "How late was I by?"

"Seventy years," the dragon king says, his scales shimmering of azure. "I have lived among these people, ruling as best I could."

"Without liberty," the dragon knight weakly mumbles.

The dragon king sighs. "Only a creature who has lived for centuries in comfort and luxury would be fool enough to think something as lowly as a human could ever want for the boundless decadence of liberty."

"And yet..." The dragon knight reaches out and grasps the king's hand. "I longed for it on their behalf...all the same." And with a final shuddering gasp, he passes.

"Farewell, my skyborn brother." The king rests his hand on the fallen's brow. "Though your intentions were noble, the people must forever be ruled from the shadows, for their own good. They must never know the truth of this world; just as they must never know that I am—"

"A DRAGON!"

The King looks up to find the guard standing in the open doorway.

"GODSBLOOD!"

"Wha—you were supposed to get the alchemist!" The dragon king barks. "In the southern tower!"

"I got lost!" The guard barks back as he lifts the crossbow and takes aim. "Apologies, my Liege!"

The king slumps. "Serpent's sack."
---
[g][title: Knight King Dragon Dragon]

[westerosies @westerosies]

Peter Claffey and Finn Bennett together in a new video 😂

[kay @seykxel]

i hate him so much and i hate that he’s so funny