AB

Female with some sort of ethnicity. ▪️I chew gum like Norm Macdonald impersonating Burt Reynolds.

[AB @bernrome]

@goinggodward I once, rather violently, swatted a poor doctor’s hand away when her fingers brushed up against my bare hip—my most ticklish spot. Naturally I was embarrassed & apologized profusely. I absolutely cannot abide being tickled.

[AB @bernrome]

This is truly the perfect autumn read.

[AB @bernrome]

Me: Children need a mom and a dad. Now go sit down.

Her: Then get a boyfriend and he can get you pregnant.

Me:

[AB @bernrome]

One of my 3rd grade girls, out of nowhere & as if we were continuing a conversation, asks me, “So have you ever wanted to have kids?”

Me:

[AB @bernrome]

Me: Sit down.

Her: But wait. You said you don’t have kids. Don’t you want any?

Me: I do. Please sit down.

Her: So why don’t you have any?

Me: Because I’m not married. Please sit down.

Her: Then get a husband.

Me: It’s not that easy.

Her: Then adopt an orphan.

[AB @bernrome]

@holland_tom

[AB @bernrome]

It is a travesty to live in TX and yet not have grass-fed beef liver readily available. I visited 3 farmers markets in my area and not a one had liver for sale. @GregAbbott_TX & @BetoORourke, whosoever of you gets *grass-fed* beef liver (& raw milk) in my hands, gets my vote.

[AB @bernrome]

@BlueBoxDave Same precautions I started taking a year ago after getting covid — weightlifting, eating an animal-based diet, and taking some supplements.

[AB @bernrome]

@MothReturns If not wanting to kill babies makes me a despicable person, I’ll accept that label.

[AB @bernrome]

Had you told me five years ago that one day soon I’d support the repeal of the 19th amendment, I would’ve said you were delusional.

[Michael Malice @michaelmalice]

@womensmarch Repeal the 19th amendment.

[AB @bernrome]

“Fictosexual”? Where has this label been all my life? The world makes sense now. How soon can I marry Doc from Cannery Row?

[AB @bernrome]

@ChivalryGuild I teach ancient history to 3rd graders, and it’s always fulfilling to see their fascination (obsession, in some cases) with ancient technology. Our ancestors were a far cry from morons. Resourceful, more like.

[AB @bernrome]

@ChivalryGuild “Spare me a gospel of easy love that makes of my life a thing without consequence.”

[John Piper @JohnPiper]

“Immediately, while Peter was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.” Luke 22:60–61

Can you fathom the depth, the sorrow, the disappointment, the love of that look?

[AB @bernrome]

How many times have you driven off with the fuel nozzle still attached to your gas tank? I’ve made this a yearly occurrence the last couple of years.

[AB @bernrome]

@MatRyanELATeach Charlotte’s Web (3rd grade)

[AB @bernrome]

@MatRyanELATeach I have a chapter and a half left. I hope I’m reading the unabridged version.

[AB @bernrome]

I have my book for #CanonChat. Now I just have to find the time to read it.

[AB @bernrome]

big Dwight Schrute energy