R.Patrick Shelton

a little gentler, a little wiser, a little tired, but yours

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

"michaelnagello"

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@abolishme

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

goodbye cruel twitter world

using tweetbot for ten years has spoiled me for the experience of seeing the hellsite unmediated

now i’ll keep all these utterly pointless and embarrassing thoughts to myself like i probably always should have

i loved you

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

24 hours without tweetbot has shown me that i am 100% quitting twitter without it

[wint @dril]

CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take the shot!
SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke!
ME (watching through binoculars): He's woke! He wont do it!

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

ME: (wake up in chair) what happen, must be turning into old man
GENIE: that, or could be the two liters of pilsner and the entire le creuset of murgh makhani you had for dinner, but yeah, prob it’s because you’re 41
ME: …
GENIE: gonna use myfitnesspal for a week?
ME: geez dude

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@EliseCoroneos @JohnHMcWhorter as a non-prescriptivist, you’re gonna have a hard time getting john to say it’s ‘wrong,’ but it’s definitely a thing. technically it is wrong, but language changes.

i, for one, loathe it. but then again, i’m still sad about ‘decimate.’

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@MegynKellyShow @MattWelch @mcmoynihan @kmele enjoyed the past appearances, but this was a hard listen. spelling one’s name ‘megyn’ offends my aesthetic sensibilities, but i hadn’t previously considered that of much import. you guys were great, but it was disappointing to see a sharp mind so bogged down in superficiality.

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@HardcoreHistory You gotta at least do an addendum on this topic! https://t.co/B3jvC8I9RZ

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

“with the boys from the mersey and the thames and the tyne”

‘oliver’s army’ is still a fucking banger and i don’t care who knows it

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

i feel like my childhood spent staring at patrick nagel prints while dangling my little feet from a spare salon chair really prepared me for right now

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

OWL: adventurer! take these medicines to aid you in your quest!

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@MattWelch even AI makes reason puns, i love it

A+++

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

oh you know, just nipping out to space for a minute, brb

[SpaceX @SpaceX]

Onboard view from Falcon 9’s flight to space and back during smallsat rideshare mission

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@hwdubois @RealTimeWWII it was repudiated by scotus in trump vs. hawaii, and further rejected by gorsuch in US vs. zubaydah

that’s not exactly good enough for me either, but it’s not current precedent

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

"fly emirates" is a funny name for a soccer team

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

if i was a ukrainian soldier and i wounded a russian terrorist i would probably walk up to him and puf my gloved hand over his mouth and say: this one’s for laika

then i’d kick him hard in the balls and arrange for him to get medical attention and go back to work

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

any podcast that puts out a year-end best of clip show either desperately fails to understand the medium in which it exists, or is making just the most cynical attempt to get more ad revenue

either way, it’s bad

podcasts aren’t radio, and that’s a good thing

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

@abolishme arius ius erat

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

i bought a blue checkmark lol

[R.Patrick Shelton @bethefawn]

last night i met a man whose custom alert sound for texts from his wife was navi from the ocarina of time zelda game saying "hey! listen!"

i immediately understood so much about his marriage