chris anderson

[Lucinda Tobyjug @msloobylou]

For some reason we remembered the line about the teeth being “meticulously hand manked” in an old Viz this weekend… found the original and it’s even better than we hoped…

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them. It suggested that I halve the strawberries, dust with icing sugar, and pile cream on top.

A word to the wise - pile cream tastes disgusting.
🤣🤣

[Danny Gold @DGisSERIOUS]

Thought the Miami humidity and sunlight would slow them down but it seems the lads are impervious to any sort of environmental challenges. Just placebo-effecting through mass dehydration

[David Baddiel @Baddiel]

TV news, in trying to find a reason for the apparently baffling fact that we’ve had so many PMs in such a short time - why, that is, we have only one type of politics now - that of outrage, leading inexorably to endless and repetitive political cancellation - can’t bring itself, I note, to even mention the words: social media.

[Ray Bradshaw @comedyray]

I took this photo at Scotland v Portugal in 2018. Less than 20k in the crowd. Felt like we were miles away from getting anywhere.

10 months later and Steve Clarke came in and its 3 tournaments and no matter where you look you see kids in Scotland kits.

Scotland are back baby!

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

great, now they’ll say THAT’S bad for you

[British Indians Voice 🇮🇳🇬🇧 @BritIndianVoice]

One Sikh man committed a murder.

535,000 British Sikhs did not.

They served in our armies.

They built our cities. They fed our homeless.

They sheltered our children after Manchester.

Know your allies. Don’t let hatred win.

#BritainTogether #BritishIndians

[Mukhtar @I_amMukhtar]

They got rattled by a van with a big screen saying, “Immigration Makes Britain Brilliant,” featuring the faces of people like Mo Farah and Dua Lipa.

[chris anderson @bigchris3]

@gary_jive Sophie's got my phone 😂

[alistair green @mralistairgreen]

There’s something going on with dad

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

YouTubers be like “wake up at 4am and run, that’s alpha!” No, it’s not. Look at apex predators; they’re all lazy. Bears hibernate, lions sleep all day. You know who wakes up at 4am and runs? Squirrels.

[K(sad trombone noise enthusiast) @brainnotonyett]

One of the reasons that both Neoliberals and fascists hate people like Mamdani is because he proves they are all liars who have effectively sold out their constituents to billionaire interests.

All of the pain we have been told to endure has been a choice to sate the wealthy

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

Billionaires are always like, “Raising taxes on billionaires won’t work because we’ll be huge fucking bitches about it.”

[Pie & Bovril 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @pieandbov]

The morning after the night before.

Firstly, it’s 2026, let’s stop using still images to try and confirm anything that happens on a football pitch. Video brings context.

Secondly, and related to point one, for fucks sake use some common sense. An image showing two balls and an English Premier League badge on the Motherwell shirt is actually being circulated by some people as “proof” of what happened 😂

Thirdly, unless you are genuinely blind, I think we can all agree on one point now. The ball absolutely DOES hit his hand, the evidence of that in slow motion and zoomed in, is absolutely clear.

Fourth, the distance on the ball is because Nicholson does indeed head it, but he heads it with his hand between his head and the ball. Again that is absolutely clear when you watch it zoomed in and in slow mo, IMO.

So, and this is only my opinion of course, the only debate to be had is about whether the hand is in an unnatural position or if his hand has ended up there because of contact from Trusty.

For me, whilst his arm isn’t making his silhouette bigger, you can’t really say it being on his forehead is a natural position 🤷‍♂️

Whether a nudge by Trusty pushed his arm up there is I suppose up for some debate but that’s pretty subjective, again IMO, and could be argued either way.

So, despite the initial furore, by me included, I genuinely can see why this has been given.

In terms of “the worst VAR decision of all time”it’s not even close to being as bad as either of the penalties Hearts didn’t get just three days ago at the same ground.

Most neutrals, me included, want Hearts to win the league, and that incident last night was massively disappointing, but I think we all need to calm down a bit.

What it has shown though, is that we desperately need more and better camera angles if we are stuck with VAR, and we also need much clearer and consistent decisions on handball cos we are making an absolute arse of dealing with it up here.

Some refs give what others don’t, and it’s incredibly frustrating (again see Fir Park on Sat night).

That’s my 2p worth anyway, all I know for sure is it’s a very good time to be a football forum owner 🤪

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

Dear Flight Attendants,
No eggnog? Just say so.
NO NEED FOR THAT LOOK

[HENRY MORRIS @mrhenrymorris]

Moscow Mules all round.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I keep getting etymology and entomology confused.

Words cannot describe how much this bugs me.

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

Besides the grifty-wifty Brand showing what he is, i’m enjoying Piers Morgan discovering that the route to universal praise is to keep his mouth shut. My pledge for him to be zero emissions by 2030 is surprisingly on track.