will?

Matthew Broderick killed two people

[will? @bilbybrangle]

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could careen down the wrong side of the road into oncoming traffic and collide into a car with an elderly woman and her 28 year old daughter killing them both.

[will? @bilbybrangle]

Back home they call me The Squanderer

[will? @bilbybrangle]

I think Elon can redeem his public image if he suddenly made everyone’s tweet drafts public and then blew his brains out on livestream

[will? @bilbybrangle]

@lenzbonvon It’s actually really fucking good, you’re just 25

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

probably feels good as fuck to be 10 years old right now and not know how to read due to covid and ipad

[Monoculture Debatteur @NotADebacle]

I'm just raw dogging the For You tab these days responding to strangers because idgaf anymore

[will? @bilbybrangle]

Meet me in the fart corner after class

[sojujinbutsu @EdgarPoop1]

Some drivers don’t want to wait bc they make more money for more deliveries. Sometimes it feels safer for both the driver and/or the deliveree. Sometimes people have sleeping babies, rowdy dogs, or escaping cats. Sometimes I have a dead body in my house and don’t like witnesses.

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Trans folks ain't done shit to you.

[will? @bilbybrangle]

Getting hypnotized by the swinging truck nuts on the car in front of me and falling asleep at the wheel

[will? @bilbybrangle]

I need to be killed as soon as possible

[Daily Noud @DailyNoud]

Young Thug says he likes to scare children so he can harvest their screams to power the city of Atlanta

[ً @ImAVeteran_]

Tweeting is a low IQ activity

[will? @bilbybrangle]

Why did they make the mighties kiwi mascot scary as fuck

[Jeremy Reynolds @5e55b0c03d53445]

@spaceandtech_ ER is going to love this

[100 @yh_me2]

it was a pleasure miscommunicating with you

[jess. @dogwife333]

been isolated for too long and now im bad at talking to everyone

[𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖔𝖘 📘🦷🔼 @Homievulgaris]

We gotta overthrow the government, it’s what Dolly and Tim would have wanted.

[relentless matriarch✨ @lieutenantbitch]

no hayley williams it ain’t fun

[will? @bilbybrangle]

I’m backpacking across the darien gap next month with my rich white friends! Exciting!