finn

[finn @birdinthird]

What if two people you knew died and their families held funerals on the same day so you had to pick the one you liked more

[finn @birdinthird]

Democrats: Republicans are covering up the Epstein files!
Republicans: Democrats don't care about our children!
Guy who orders gumballs over DoorDash: Yeah gumballs are actually really expensive these days

[finn @birdinthird]

#asksnb Where does the surname "Nimmo" come from? I've always thought it was such an interesting name.

[finn @birdinthird]

hyphenated last names fall under kundera's definition of kitsch

[finn @birdinthird]

The gods bestowed upon me nectar and ambrosia. And I let it sit in the fridge too long and expire

[finn @birdinthird]

Duke lost because they have a player named Ken K Nipple

[finn @birdinthird]

@liverpoolschizo Arsenal FC clear

[finn @birdinthird]

It’s pretty infuriating to me how many young people voted third party in November. I wish we had ranked choice voting bad, but that is yet another thing that will only happen with a Dem in charge. Until then protest voting will only help the least progressive candidate

[finn @birdinthird]

Fans of nominative determinism will love Junction City, Kansas, which has perhaps the most traffic junctions I've ever seen

[finn @birdinthird]

I don't call it alcoholism. I call it "beer inflation"

[finn @birdinthird]

@ClaffeyMickey @RotoSurgeon Lewis-Skelly clears sadly

[finn @birdinthird]

@sentencereader @thebafflermag Epic

[finn @birdinthird]

@runwildkian Forgot Jorge Lopez!

[finn @birdinthird]

The year is 2032. After a long day in the lithium mines, I receive 30 Trumpcoin, which I redeem for 1 min access to X dot com. I pause, think, then start to type. “jd vance… more like jd milky chance.” The armed guard gazing over my shoulder sighs, and brings his gun to my head.

[finn @birdinthird]

Big Pharma doesn’t want you to know you can put the cap back on your saline eye drops

[finn @birdinthird]

@livelyacorn It was like he tried to make a statement but it all felt very resist lib

[finn @birdinthird]

The Road by Cormac McCarthy but the two protagonists are me and the Bad Bitch I Pulled By Being Funny

[finn @birdinthird]

@FOIANate You are doing God’s work FOIA Nate

[finn @birdinthird]

I’m at applebees googling what’s best at applebees

[finn @birdinthird]

Just thought of something and it almost worked so well