BITCHERY HUMOR.

Words for women.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

It's amazing how when you yell "hey asshole" in a room full of assholes, every single one of those assholes turns around.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

The best way to win an argument with a guy is to smack him across the face with your vagina.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

We all have this fear that we’d be disliked if we revealed our true selves. And we’re probably right.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

If you keep allowing people to shit on you, eventually everyone is going to think you enjoy it.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

When you broke down the walls they built around themselves and they don't want to build them up all over again... Never. Forget. That.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

I just put my USB in the wrong hole, but I still tried to force it in. I get it guys. I get it.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

Why would I wanna sleep with your man when I could just fuck him all night instead?

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

Trust is the key to a successful disappointment.

[Fuck Likes @FuckLikes]

Society: Be yourself.

Society: No not like that

[DOPE. @WomenRelatable]

I'm a strong willed independent woman who sometimes gets outta control. But I love and give with all my heart. Don't abuse that privilege.

[Encouragement @EncouragingShit]

I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.

[Cynical. @CynicalAdvice]

Having a toddler is like being on full time suicide watch.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

If one more person invites me to play a stupid game on Facebook I swear I'll do something like, I don't know, make fun of them on Twitter!

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

Sometimes following your heart means losing your mind...

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

I'm about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

Life is shit. But if you dig deep enough, there are some spectacular, lovely people who will support you in ways you never imagined.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

I don't understand the 'calm your tits' statement. They're calm. Just sittin in my bra relaxing.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it.

[BITCHERY HUMOR. @BitcheryHumor]

parenting tip: replace the food in your child's lunch with a note that says "you should be nicer to me."