Bitter Baptist

Disgruntled Baptist who feels that tweets are the best way to affect change in the world

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

I've had bowel movements last longer than some of these youth group relationships

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Just experienced a total eclipse of the heart

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

See it's not the end of the wor

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Canceled Sunday night church so when the Lord comes back tonight He will actually find me doing something useful

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

If you have a blood moon you should see a proctologist

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

If you praise dance at #SYATP is it called pole dancing?

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Youth pastor came back from #SYATP covered in glitter and reeking of cigar smoke. #wrongpole

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

The more I watch Clifford, the more I realize how unrealistic it is

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

There's Something About Mary #makeamovietheological

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

I'm afraid that sometimes when I'm physically side hugging I'm mentally front hugging #confession

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Summer lovin, happened so fast

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Are fruit, potato, and tuna salads actual salads? What is a salad?

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

The anus is the window of the butt

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Can't believe the Mormons caught that ball

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Oh did college football start today? I didn't know #idolworshippers

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Don't let the deacons neuter you - Jonathan Edwards

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Love thy enemies even when they're deacons

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

Great day. Baptized 9 excommunicated 10. Net loss of 1. Just the way I like it

[Bitter Baptist @BitterBaptist]

This Ashley Madison chick sounds like a real skank