Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE

I got my hard Brexit done & hailed it as amazing, worldbeating. Blame EU, Covid or Putin (all foreigners) for its abject failure. Sovrinty innit. Tribute a/c

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

The serial liar is on serial vacation. I'm miffed at losing my job because of a few porkies, dodgy dealings & general incompetence but what can you expect from a bunch of brain-dead Ukipper MPs? But this a/c has run its course. Not enough feedback to make it worthwhile

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

This a/c is meant to be as dead as my career should be. But let me thank @pennymordaunt: my efforts to help the far right ERG & dim DUP derail NI peace aren't ‘wholly unhelpful’. Fattv Frost & I didn’t spend all that time wrecking the GFA only for Johnny Foreigner get in our way

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@tonyblackburn It is a cherished far right cause! Defund the BBC. Give it all to GB News. They tell it how it is. Oh, and Trump won @Timj_davis

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

You thought I was back. So did I. And there was this heartwarming eulogy to me in the Guardian from @estheraddley. Sadly it wasn't to be. But i'll make sure Rishi fails #BorisJohnson https://t.co/MggScZmi3J

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@GusOfSudbury At least it's the right shape thanks to one of those fabricated stories used to write when I was the Telegraph's man in Brussels. I put the fear of God into those dreadful EU bureaucrats who weren't actually planning to change the shape anyway

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

Let me resurface for a sec to say how heartwarming it is to know people have forgiven or forgotten all my lies, general incompetence & dodgy dealings and want me back! #bringborisback #TrussOut Only I can save our glorious party & ensure Brexit wrecks what is left of the economy

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

Just a brief dash out of retirement to say how wonderfully Blimpish the @DailyMailUK has become again under more ERG, Ukipper, Dacrish editorship. @guyadams especially good, attacking the NYT's Britbashing. I mean, if the Mail Frogbashed like that, the world would be up in arms!

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@Edwina_Currie Bravo, Edwina. Brexit is a catastrophe that @trussliz & @davidghfrost will make armageddon. Cost-of-living crisis? A mere disaster. When will plebs learn? Oops, forgot I'd retired, giving me time finally to read the amazing wordbeating oven-ready deal I signed & then trashed

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

I've diligently filled my government & backbenches with spivs, sharks, Ukipper pigmies, sewage pumpers & the compliant woodentops now demanding my reinstatement. One successful legacy: today’s Conservative party's media of choice - GBNews &, atop other rightwing rags, Express

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@Conservatives Not available just now - feeling miffed that a bit of lying, a lot of incompetence the odd illegal party should cost me my job - but how are my troops doing defending our #TorySewageParty defence of the coastline? #FBPE losers are likening the turds to my Brexit

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@bolddigger52 Hand on heart, no, it's all our fault for not properly negotiating and only pretending to believe in workers' rights. Also, we should be nicer to Red Mick - he's as mad a Brexiter as us!

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@AnthonyAinsdale See the bright side. We've GBNews & one day they'll have viewers! I'm a bit put out, hence all my hols, but soon there'll be a truly far right leader. And think of all that lovely Tory sewage. Oh, for every Defund the BBC loon, there's 2 woke Remoaners accusing it of Tory bias

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@Matthew78840327 Golly. Been a bit busy on holiday (not great as it meant going to horrid foreign places) and partying, which I'm really good at. Now I'm told there may be some sort of crisis going on, as if I could care. They want Liz, let her clear up my mess. But thanks for your support

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@CharlotteDrury6 Well I'm useless at running the country - that's why I don't do it even though I'm still meant to - but I think I am rather good at partying and having a good time in nice (albeit foreign) locations

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@ConsPost Oops: i know I'm otherwise engaged - cheers! - but shouldn't we first do something about the raw sewage we wanted water companies to discharge into our sea and rivers? The Scousers can wait

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

OK: the more I see of @trusslizpm the more I like it. She's OUR Trump, Orban, Le Pen, Wilders! If only I'd thought of being even more far right - Remoaner #fbpe losers thought that impossible. Also, @RishiS4PM is a rat! Now, where's my glass for that top-up?

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@daisymorichelli @DavidWCummins @mrjamesob @LBC @RMTunion Now that I no longer need to pretend to care, but can just enjoy holiday after holiday, let me tell you my sensible Remoaner pals - those that will still speak to me - rather support the strikes, greatly admire @mrjamesob and just want Mick Lynch to admit Brexit is a monstrosity

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@Dave_Smith1970 @PeterStefanovi2 @RMTunion Alternatively (obviously my alter ego speaking since real Tories love Brexit & its xenophobia), get him to explain why he helped get it across the line as RMT policy or guidance & list any benefits so far. He can always defer to @Jacob_Rees_Mogg. Meanwhile, I back the strikes

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@Dave_Smith1970 @PeterStefanovi2 @RMTunion no

[Boris Got Brexit Done #FBPE @boris_get]

@elvisdutch I resent this impertinence. That hard-left menace Lynch also happens to be a mad Brexiter like me, Farage, IDS, the wonderful ERG, JRM, Putin, my dim Ukipper ministers & backbenchers + all those far right foreign cheerleaders. He should leave the silly RMT & join my outgoing team