Soencer

I like cats

[Soencer @breadsticksw]

#MomentoMori

[Soencer @breadsticksw]

365:00:00:00 #wewerehere

[IGP @igp]

"oooooh noooo my castle is under attaaaaack!!!! Eh, that's okay, I didn't really like it anyway."

Whoever you are, fuck you.

[Soencer @breadsticksw]

@definitelynottk I would lose so I'm running away now

[Soencer @breadsticksw]

@definitelynottk Ok vampire

[Aureylian's Mom @Aureys_mom]

@brookehouts The most redeeming thing you can do is give up the poor dog before the good guys come knocking on your door to rescue it.

[spechie @Spechie_]

People that abuse innocent animals are some of the worst scum, she doesnt deserve to own that beautiful animal. I hope that he goes to a good home. He was literally just trying to be affectionate with his owner.

[Aureylian @aureylian]

You’d think this is would be the topic of an Onion article but no - a COO really did accidentally email their secret plans to strongarm a local community to the media

[Sally Rugg @sallyrugg]

Millennials aren’t depressed because of social media apps, we’re depressed because we can’t see a future for ourselves that involves a stable job, somewhere that’s ours to live, safe air, food and water... Also, Nazis are back.

[Allison💡 @allipab]

Toiletries

[morgan 🤎 @morgan_lane22]

IIIIIT’S FISH! IF I GAVE
PUDGE TUNA, I’D BE AN
ABOMINATION! I’M LATE
BECAUSE I HAD TO GO
TO THE STORE AND
GET PEANUT BUTTER,
BECAUSE ALL WE HAD
IS- IS STINKING TUNA!

[Philosopher Bean @BeanPhilosopher]

Dear @LidlUS

My name is Bean. I eat peanut butter and jelly English muffins for three meals a day.

Back in February, my mom bought 72 jars of your peanut butter when it was on sale for 78 cents a jar. I numbered each jar.

[DESIGN GENIE @kvngSpice]

Morgan freeman reviewing 2018 is the best thing I have seen today 😂😂😂
https://t.co/icShgJKw5K

[Sam Friedman @sammyashermusic]

Working on some duet improv with my top student, please be kind, he's still learning.

[Sarah @MemeJedi]

Me, to my half-conscious 9 y.o. son: “Good morning, bud. Hey, can you spell something for me?”

Son: “Why?”

Me: “Just curious. Spell ‘smoking’ for me.”

Son: “S-m-o-k-i-n-g. Why?”

Me: “Because the president just tweeted and couldn’t spell it.”

Son: “Oh my god.”

#smockinggun