Bri Fitzpatrick

She/her/hers. Actor with @paonessatalent. Performer and teacher with @thesecondcity. All-around nerd with @thequestwecando. But my main occupation? Staaaaaaar.

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

As someone with an incredibly authentic and flawless Irish accent would say: giz’ an aul listen, would ya? Thanks for having me, @MagicTavern!

[Hello from the Magic Tavern @MagicTavern]

Dearbhla O'Roan (Bri Fitzpatrick) wants revenge on the wiener of a man who stole her skin.  Will the boys be able to help?  Listen to the latest episode now to find out.
https://t.co/K24DkOKuP3

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@mthwredman Hell yeah - thanks! I appreciate your impeccable taste and willingness to forgive a slightly dodgy accent!

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

I like that we use the same term for “a big party” and “a baby’s diaper overflowing with shit”.

[My Neighbors Are Dead @mydeadneighbors]

This week Adam heads to New York City to talk to candidates for the new HOA (@HitchCocktails own @bri_fitz_p, Alli Stark, and C.J. Tuor) in a neighborhood that just experienced a murder in this Rear Window themed episode. Don't miss it!

#horror #hitchcock

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@SouthwestAir You cancelled our flight (like you did to thousands of others) and now I can’t see my family this Xmas. But could you have the decency to get my baby’s car seat back to us?! It’s just sitting in @fly2midway , trapped. Please don’t say DM - already have, no answer.

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@snobdds @shitforbrains74 @LakeSuperior @GovTimWalz @GovEvers @GovWhitmer Wait until you find out what “talking in 3rd person” is. It may blow your mind to know you’re using this term incorrectly, as this account speaks from the perspective of a lake, in first person.

Blown minds abound.

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

I don’t know what’s happening here, but that doesn’t stop me from living for it!

[nutter butter @NutterButter]

N is for the way you nut at me

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

I wish every anti-choicer the pain of 10 million late-pregnancy hemorrhoids. May their buttholes forever be aflame.

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

She’s a 10(1101001101110), but you’re a computer.

[nikki mccann ramírez @NikkiMcR]

The same people who spent all last month insisting that life must be protected above any other consideration will now explain to you how children being massacred in their classrooms is just the sunk cost of protecting a single sentence written in 1789.

[alyssugh (she/her) @alystentothis]

“the constitution does not reference the right to an abortion” the constitution does not reference women

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

We’re allowed to put our Wordle stats on our resumes now, correct?

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@Cjtuor Not YET, young man!

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@Cjtuor It’s so insensitive that you would tweet this when you KNOW I was the other woman your dad was living with…!

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@jonahformayor Yes! I see you!!! Visible in picture! But also check reflection in mirror to make sure visible and not vampire!

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@mxtxparty Hahahaha, Don’t love me, don’t talk to me, don’t ignore me!

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@bradapalooza I especially like singing the bridge this way!

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

“To my 5-month-old, my pug is the size of a grizzly bear, and I canNOT stop thinking about that” is apparently not what people are looking to hear when they ask how you are????

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

@Cjtuor You can’t be what you can’t see.

[Bri Fitzpatrick @bri_fitz_p]

Using false equivalents is as bad as murdering your own grandparents.