Broke DeLotsSanta 🖤

*aggressive country voice* can I pet dat dawg? can I pet DAT DAWG? CAN I PET DAT DAWGGG? ~she/her~

[Broke DeLotsSanta 🖤 @brookywook2]

Girls at frat parties hitting wine bags be like:

[Joelle LB @joelle_lb]

this is the most hilarious shit I've seen in a while lol gm

[𝔉𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔦𝔡 @fairyw1ngz_]

My daughter gonna be so mad when I name her Izy (short for stiiizy)

[Kristen @kristenstockdal]

An interesting development in the Kim <> Kanye saga

[Broke DeLotsSanta 🖤 @brookywook2]

Happy birth month to me 💕#LEOSZN

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

i’m crying wtf does this even mean

[David Pakman @dpakman]

It's crazy how mask recommendations were tyrannical government, but forcing women to birth children is fine

[Preston D. Mitchum @PrestonMitchum]

“I want an abortion” is reason enough to have an abortion. Nothing else needed. All these hypotheticals and dishonest preambles are exhausting.

[T-Mobile @TMobile]

@ChrisEvans 6s? You get trapped in ice or something?

[Danny DeVito @DannyDeVito]

Supreme Court my ass

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

Nobody is putting gargoyles on buildings anymore. It can’t be that much more expensive to slap a gargoyle up there. We used to be a proper country.

[Alder Picckl⚓ @picckl]

"Kids shouldn't be exposed to talk abt queerness it'll scare them" I'm babysitting 2 girls rn who asked if I was gonna get married to a guy and get a job when I graduated, told them I liked girls, they simply changed it to asking if I was gonna get married to a girl and get a job

[Yams Charania @BostonJerry]

“Get a better job” they are RAISING RENT 40% AND GAS PRICES DOUBLED IN 2 MONTHS

This isn’t about people not hustling hard enough, it is PRICE GOUGING.

[Christina Holland 🐀 @americanwombat]

Ok but the real challenge, if you're willing to put in the work, is going to be tricking them into releasing Morbius a third time

[yeah ok @poutinesmoothie]

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?