Brroman

[vic @VictoriaLobrow]

Hamilton could never do Zombies 2 but Zombies 2 did Hamilton

[Brroman @Brro_man]

@VictoriaLobrow I refuse with all my heart

[Brroman @Brro_man]

@VictoriaLobrow Somehow this is the worst thing I’ve seen in 2020 which is saying something

[vic @VictoriaLobrow]

@colesprouse One episode of Riverdale you should switch with Zach and see if anyone notices

[Brroman @Brro_man]

Love is not measured by the number of UTIs he gives you, but by the size of his bank account

[Brroman @Brro_man]

College is weird because everyone either looks like they just finished crying or they’re on the verge of crying

[Brroman @Brro_man]

“Doctor” Frankenstein never got his degree. That’s Mr. Frankenstein to you

[The Percy Jackson Musical @LTMusical]

ok we can’t say...anything...

except.

if you want a percy jackson tv show...

and we got like 75k or 100k likes on this tweet, that would

*not be a bad thing*

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

Therapist: What's wrong?

Me: If I do the Borat voice once more, I'll be getting a divorce

Therapist: And who told you that?

Me: *tearfully clears throat*

[The Lonely Island @thelonelyisland]

Finally

[Danya @dxxnya]

*in hell*

satan: dude you gotta stop following me around

me: I don't know anyone else here I feel awkward

[shauna morgan (hiatus) @shavnamorgan]

By age 30 you should be

-swift as the coursing river
-with all of the force of a great typhoon
-with all the strength of a raging fire
-mysterious as the dark side of the moon

[Brittany Evans 🍩 ~ updates @ByBrittanyEvans]

I work at a bookstore and this was an actual conversation I had at work last night:
5 year old boy: *brings me a romance book* what's this?

me: a story about two people falling in love!

b: .... is there a dragon in it?

me: no..

b: then why do you even have it on the shelf?

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

I vote yes as long as Toby’s not invited.

[Rads @_radsy]

fellas you have $145 to build the perfect mom

$2000 - an actual mom
$800 - a dog
$450 - your friend’s daughter
$5 - transmutation circle
$40 - your leg
$70 - your little brother
$30 - your arm

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

Me: Do you have the Harry Potter audiobook?
DJ: no

[riley 🚀 @riley_hp]

Me: and this is my house
Friend: what’s upstairs
Me: stairs don’t talk

[Derek🥯 @DerekDelson]

Why Paddington 2 is actually a Mission: Impossible movie:

- has a high-speed chase through London
- villain disguises himself as other people
- ends with a train pursuit where the villain loses