pissin' pete

Elaine Benes stan account

[pissin' pete @bxtchpudding_]

Deep in my flop era, is this permanent

[Nature Unedited @NatureUnedited]

At an aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[tequila baggins @miamibrando]

Why is everyone so angry all the time

[christine 🌿 @xtinemarx]

my childhood nickname was “christine the bean” until 2001 when my older brother and sister began a competition to see which of them could think of a new nickname that made me cry the most. this resulted in them calling me “osama bin laden” for the next three years

[cj- @cjnieI]

His Make A Wish ass life

[redrum @griffisu]

eventually there will be an infant capable of handling 115° car interior we just have to keep trying

[DJ Polesmoker Returns @YungStinker]

This is the only picture I have of my father

[JD Flynn @jdflynn]

buddy, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.

[benevolent madeline @reglarwoman]

neighborhood child with a noble cause

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

the land honey the land

[chad @chasedbywasps]

saying "nice car" to a guy just walking around

[𝓛𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓪 ˚.🎀༘⋆ @Laura_arma_ni]

Me on my wedding day hearing all my besties laughing together... While I'm seated next to my husband

[𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𓇼 @flowwithkel]

People retweeting this asking why we don’t do this anymore and it’s because there’s freaks who record you and then will make fun of you online for having fun

[pink slime princess @bettyjaws]

i only queef when quofen to

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.

[🅱️askerville 🇦🇪 @WB_Baskerville]

Sure whatever

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Million dollar idea: Jazz bar named Horn Pub

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

Damn the way this has got me thinking about Society 😳

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

should i kill my self

[Collin Rugg @CollinRugg]

BREAKING: FedEx driver who pleaded guilty to kidnapping and murdering 7-year-old Athena Strand, has been sentenced to death.

Tanner Horner snatched Athena while he was delivering a Barbie doll to her home in Paradise, Texas.

At one point during the trial, jurors broke down in tears while hearing audio of Horner killing Athena after he told her to take off her shirt and said she was "really pretty."

Athena repeatedly asked for her mother before she was killed.

"Horner is then heard asking Athena to remove her shirt, and there are several moments when she says "no" and asks for her mom. That was followed by repeated sounds of crying, screaming and banging," NBC reported last month.

Following three hours of deliberation today, Horner was sentenced to death by lethal injection.