Caitlin Cockburn

[Caitlin Cockburn @caitlow]

@carli_ixou Me before kids “my girls will never wear pink”

[Introvert Memes @introverts007]

My phone is always on silent, I don't even know if I have a ringtone. If someone ever needs to contact me in an emergency, I suggest you to call someone else.

[Marcy G @BunAndLeggings]

My 5yo asked me to hold her hand so she could go to sleep. I had a tough day, and I really didn't want to. I wanted to sit and relax, but I held her hand. She gave me a tight hug, "thanks, mom." Then she told me about how comfy I feel. Motherhood is so hard, but so beautiful.

[Linwood Barclay @linwood_barclay]

Shoppers self-checkout voice asks: “Tell us how we did today.” Well, you did fuck all. I did it myself

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Always named something like Princess or Missy

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Wait a second...

[Jenn Granneman @JennGranneman]

Introvert problems:

It's hard to make new friends because the people who you would click with the best also don't want to leave their house.

[The Dad @thedad]

My 5-year-old will do menial tasks like making food and cleaning up food for HOURS on a Little Tikes play kitchen, but ask her to take ONE real-life plate to the sink after dinner and she’ll gasp so hard she'll nearly pass out on her Little Tikes fainting couch

[Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0]

Adding “don’t lick the TV” to the list of sentences I never thought I’d say.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I’m off to bed” - Translation: I’m off to stare at my phone in the dark.

[I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids]

A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming “WHAT’S THAT” and a driving parent yelling “I CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE POINTING AT” repeat until everyone is crying

[The Dad @thedad]

Me: There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my child. I would walk through the fires of hell and back for him.

Son: Can we go to the park?

Me: No, it’s raining a little bit.

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

‘Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except mom because everyone else was asleep at last and she finally had two fugging seconds to herself.

[Dr. Amit Arya @AmitAryaMD]

Due to an ongoing surge in young patients suffering from respiratory viruses, an Ontario children's hospital has been so overwhelmed that they have called in the Red Cross...to help with staffing.

This is heartbreaking. 💔

Where is the Ontario government and what is their plan?

[The Dad @thedad]

Dads love saying “big play right here” every time it’s 3rd down

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

Me: I’m super easy-going

Also me: The iced coffee I ordered is the wrong color and now my whole day is ruined

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

It’s great weather for looking out of the window and sighing heavily.

[The Dad @thedad]

I wish I had the confidence of a toddler counting to 20 using only 8 different numbers.