Carolyn Johnson

Screenwriter, producer, potato-lover. I write spooky weird stuff with heart.

[email protected]

[Carolyn Johnson @candylionfox]

Probably a good time to let y'all know I'm also on Blue sky - @carolynjohnson

[Carolyn Johnson @candylionfox]

If I were forced to endure 5 rounds of interviews, I would also not be interested. Like what other info do you require in interview #5 that you failed to glean from the previous 4?

[El Programador Senior @5eniorDeveloper]

You're getting paid for your time, while the candidate IS NOT

[Rory Blank @BoneJail]

Peter Thiel has James Bond strapped to a table, some sort of lethal contraption getting to mangle Bond

Thiel: well Bond I… i uh i uhhhgh well uhhh i you see i uh uhh uhh the thing is well i uh but but but but but well i i i i i i but uhhhh

Peter Thiel begins sweating profusely

[Carolyn Johnson @candylionfox]

Between this guy and Michael Rappaport, it's going to be very funny to see a circus of Overconfident White Guys try to win against a once-in-a-lifetime political talent like Mamdani

[Acyn @Acyn]

Watters: You might run against Mamdani?

Portnoy: I would love to run against—if I was going to run, it would be here. Can I win here? I have no idea.

I’ve done a lot of good in NYC, whether it was the Barstool Fund or pizza places, so it wasn’t for show. I’ve had a real job. I’ve done real things, unlike these clown politicians who have never had a job and have never been in the real world for a day

[A Left-Wing Account ™️ @PushDemsLeft]

"Big Tent" Dems the second someone left of center wins a primary:

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

The vote blue no matter who folks really woke up today screaming, “But we didn’t mean THAT blue!”

[Breaking911 @Breaking911]

BREAKING: In a 6-3 ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court held that the Department of Homeland Security may revoke a lawful permanent resident’s status if they leave the United States while facing pending criminal charges, even without a conviction. The court’s liberal justices dissented.

📸: @scotus_wire

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

One thing they don't tell you about the “push a button for a million dollars but someone you don't know dıės” hypothetical is that literally every billionaire is effectively pressing that button as much as they can all the time just because that's how exploitation works

[🦕mox🦕 @MoxxieMoth]

Maybe I’m too woke but I miss 5 years ago when saying the word “retarded” was genuinely nasty and made people look at you like a monster

[Cincymilla @CincyShadow]

Speaking as a former pool operator. Painting the bottom of a shallow pool exposed to direct sunlight that's surrounded by trees dark blue simply creates the perfect conditions for algae to bloom lmao.

This is the perfect exemplar for Trumps presidency.

[Paulie Doyle @BigPaulieDoyle]

It's not a coincidence that the richest man in history is also the saddest, most pathetic, unlikeable cunt in history

[Megan K. Stack @Megankstack]

Amazing quote from Stephen Miller's high school classmate in this new Jazeera documentary on him:

"Having grown up with him, it makes you realize that it isn't the smartest person you went to high school with who's running the country. It's the most shameless person."

[Warren Gunnels @GunnelsWarren]

You cannot afford healthcare.

You cannot afford childcare.

You cannot afford rent.

You cannot afford groceries.

You cannot afford gas.

And your taxes paid for SpaceX making Elon Musk a trillionaire.

But sure. Blame it on the single mom who gets $6.20 a day in Food Stamps.

[they/them might be giants ☭ @babadookspinoza]

People only hate Elon Musk because he comes from an emerald mining fortune made in apartheid South Africa, he buys ideas and pretends he’s an inventor, he’s a white supremacist, union-busting, abusive employer, he’s hoarding $1T in stolen wages, he makes us ashamed to be human,

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I saw a post on Reddit that said that “The underlying purpose of AI is to allow wealth to access skill while removing from the skilled the ability to access wealth.” And I don’t think I’ve ever seen AI described so incisively.

[Shinzo Abe Lincoln @SaintJackington]

As someone who had a bar-heavy 20's, if this has happened you you it's because your vibe is bad and you can't read the room. Not because women want to cockblock their friends.

[Carolyn Johnson @candylionfox]

Congrats, California voters. You didn't trust the billionaire with progressive policies so you voted instead for 10 billionaires in a trenchcoat. Makes sense. Good job everybody.

[Jake @JakeWally]

Pacino in The Insider yelling at Bari Weiss “ARE YOU A BUSINESSWOMAN OR A NEWSWOMAN?!” but she doesn’t really get the question so she just asks him if trans women should be allowed to compete in women’s sports

[Star Wars Holocron @sw_holocron]

ANDOR Tony Gilroy concluded his acceptance speech at the Peabody Awards last night by saying:

"Please do not stop. Please do not turn out the lights until we can kill this nightmare... and fuck the empire!"