Carl James

A plethora of shenanigans

[Carl James @carldjames]

@llw902 @sunnyozell The same is true of dried pasta - there are two steps to getting the correct ratio:

1. Estimate how much you need.
2. Wrong.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@walkers_crisps
#lovefromwalkers

[Carl James @carldjames]

@alexandertperry Blazin' Bev!!

"What? Captain? No, it's 'Doctor'. Oh, no wait... 'Captain Doctor'? 'Doctor Captain'? I'm confused. Who am I again?"

[Carl James @carldjames]

@robmanuel Bacon up that sausage, Manuel! Bacon it!!

[Carl James @carldjames]

@RegionalUSFood

[Carl James @carldjames]

@JoshPughComic I'm on a sea food diet. It's pretty much all fish, except for the dolphin. #boring

[Carl James @carldjames]

Nearly, @ITV. Wrong Baldwin.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@quantick The pints were being drunk by actors due to lockdown broadcasting restrictions.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@papasombra Cllr John Brake-pads

[Carl James @carldjames]

@pipterino I'm assuming they're pointing out that horses can't write. I already knew this but for some reason they felt the need to tell everyone.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@MysteriosoX No. Even Dave Gorman didn't really.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@UberFacts Ricky-Joe just needs the support when he's riding his rascal to the Dairy Queen with his brothers.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@TCastro88 They're all CGI. No one real could stand being in the same room as him. The CGI aliens behind him are struggling a bit

[Carl James @carldjames]

@WhatTheADHD Lots. No idea how many or how they got there. More than a few cuts as well.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@BBCNews How is it transmitted?

[Carl James @carldjames]

@twinklesea0

[Carl James @carldjames]

@DankAckroyd Eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves but, if you don't listen in to other people's conversations, how will you know what they're saying behind your back?

I'm not paranoid, unless you've heard something. What have you heard? Tell me!

[Carl James @carldjames]

@earlymodernjohn Most of these systems are basically a mobile phone with a hotspot and a registration process hosted by the CEOs brother in law. By the time you've got three people on the 2.5G connection, there's not enough bandwidth left to load up a "Hello World" web page. No expense spent.

[Carl James @carldjames]

@Robinson_IP In a bottle? Easy, squeezy, cheesy peas!!

[Carl James @carldjames]

@gaghyogi49

[Carl James @carldjames]

@anon_opin Don't get me started on '10 items or less' - it's 'FEWER'! FFS!!