Catie Collins

Oh hi! Thank heaven you're here. You look absolutely terrific, honestly.

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

The production value of my kid's bedtime song is *chef's kiss*. I'm talking a two-part mom and dad harmony accompanied by a rock-to-sleep dance paired with a sneak-out-of-the-room decrescendo.

(If you're wondering, the bedtime song is The Lion Sleeps Tonight)

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

I have a 4 month old and a bed-ridden husband so All I Want for Christmas is help with the most administrative of life tasks

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Reporting live from the first month of motherhood. When daring to leave the house alone, strangers will squint at you suspiciously and ask "...Where is your baby??"

With his Dad? Good gravy. (This has happened to me no less than 10 times)

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

@clhubes That you can break out in a full body rash called PUPPS that itches worse than anything you can imagine. Bonus: it sometimes doesn't go away until after delivery.

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Is the same agency writing every politician's tweet this week? They all start with some variation on "Let's be clear", or, "I'll say it again".

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

I am the level of hugely pregnant that, upon turning a corner in Target, the woman standing there stopped in her tracks and gasped "Oh my God."

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

I don’t understand how COVID is still spiking after we’ve tried everything from pretending it’s over to pretending it never happened

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Does everyone else have "the basket" on their bedside table filled with any item you could ever need (tums, make-up wipes, eye drops), or has pregnancy vaulted me into my 70's?

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

@singingshoes21 You. Are. Incredible. (Always)

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Finally watching Love is Blind and there's a lot to unpack, but all I can focus on is the commitment the producers had to using those gold cups in every episode

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Wordle 231 3/6

⬛⬛🟨⬛🟩
🟨🟨⬛⬛🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Are neon signs the inflatable furniture of the 20's? I predict future shame around this trend.

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

couldn't tweet the video in the running thread but uhhh here it is in line with all the other ones! (except the one that is blocked for some reason. i don't understand the law don't ask me why) https://t.co/VEgFleblLb

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

It's almost that time of year. https://t.co/6XYXcpLhb0

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

Movie/TV pet peeve: when the Mom prepares an enormous, amazing, waffle-filled breakfast, only for the main-character kid to be like "CAN'T MOM GOTTA GO" and grab a piece of toast instead?? Or worse, an apple?? COME ON.

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

...did @DoubleFine really cast the voice of Gir as Raz's archetype in Psychonauts 2?? The Invader Zim homage here is just *chef's kiss*

[Jean-Luc Bouchard @jlucbouchard]

Inventor of milkshakes: *slowly removes glasses, hands trembling* If my calculations are correct, than there is indeed a way for ice cream to hurt your tummy even more than it already does

[Catie Collins @catie_did]

I am finally, finally, finally done designing, assembling, and calligraphy-ing my wedding invitations and I'm actually...proud of them? D'aww.