cat

[greghall. @tofeelhealed]

dolly parton dying is like 9/11 for americans

[poppy 🦋 @notpopbase]

i’m crying this man has been in office for almost two years and this is the first and only sensible thing he has ever done so far

[veronica lodge chart updates @livaldovinos]

I know how you feel England I lost my queen too

[softspine @soft_spined]

I miss 1 nade and start sounding like this in vc

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

“oh well, they can’t win every game”

they can, actually. there’s nothing stopping them from winning every game except I guess maybe they hate me

[Emma 🦊 @nucknyan]

San Francisco is a morally repugnant city why is the biryani place threatening to fuck my wife

[toby ✿ 😦 @_Alex2O_]

the devil will tell you hell is full and send you to texas

[chelsea @hal0intheriver]

I still deserve love even though I’m from Plano, Texas #affirmations

[cat @cats6259]

memememe

[bug @bugedelic]

that oomf that keeps tweeting with 0 likes

[pawle @lofrotomy]

guy named richard: please, call me penis

[ty ✩ @krtsune]

why is he asking to see doomfist 😭😭

[shegrimm @van_herstmann]

not now sweetheart mommy is soloqueueing and keeps getting teamed up with useless sacks of shit

[iris @T0WOT]

Not IG reels though 😅 Phew!!!

[jeffrey @JeffScape]

“I never see you at the club” Yeah? Well I never see you masturbating in a Waymo, which, by the way, is a totally victimless crime and shouldn’t warrant a charge of indecent exposure

[Cornelius Webster @DONTEVENGOLOL]

getting an adderall prescription so i can interrupt women faster and talk over them louder

[cat @cats6259]

@hatsune_autism @ot8ify lots of ATMs dispense 100s and 100s are used for gifts more than 20s imo

[vernaxes @verzasah]

They aborted my duo.

I can't stop thinking that the gamer who would have ranked up with me was aborted in this timeline, and that's why I soloq. In another alternate timeline, their mother didn't abort them, and they grew up to duo with me. I must be very high ranked there.

[cly @tribecalledrags]

Wife asked me if we can spice up our sex life and said we should roleplay but then she said she would be the stanley cup and I have to be the Leafs so I can't touch her