CB

You can call me Blockhead, if you must…

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 I'm still prettier than you. And I don't have bacne.

[CB @cbDSG2012]

Oh my god you guys, I lost my gay virginity! #imarealman

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 you heartless bitch...

[CB @cbDSG2012]

There's so much blood… everywhere… somebody please… WHY? #snoopy #goodbyeoldfriend

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 And as for your party tonight, please don't try and roofie me again. The last time that happened, I had to drag Van home.

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 If you're going to hit on me, you might not want to insult my dog as your game-making statement. #tipstonotdiealone

[CB @cbDSG2012]

I slipped in a mysterious puddle left by Snoopy. If he pissed on the floor again, I'm gonna kill him. #goodgrief #justkidding #ilovemydog

[CB @cbDSG2012]

Total false alarm. Snoopy is running around like a fucking puppy. I've tripped over the little shit like twice. #snoopyisanasshole

[CB @cbDSG2012]

Snoopy hasn't been looking too hot. Send him some kind thoughts that he'll be okay. #ilovemydog #hesmybestfriend

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 And apparently you can be a bitch at any age as well. #goodgrief

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@cbsisterDSG2012 It's comments like these that result in him pissing in your Doc Martens.

[CB @cbDSG2012]

Today Snoopy was taking a nap and I thought he died. I'm too young for a heart attack. #pullittogetherCB

[CB @cbDSG2012]

I would greatly appreciate it if my dog didn't make direct eye contact with me when he licks his asshole. It's like he does it on purpose…

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@vanDSG2012 @cbsisterdsg2012 Dude, please don't date rape my sister. Sis, I'll buy you pepper spray if you want…

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@cbsisterDSG2012 Good argument squirt. Next you can call me a butthead, put on some Taylor Swift and write in your journal while crying.

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@cbsisterDSG2012 Why are you so embarrassing? You know, it's not too late for mom and dad to get that abortion… I could be an only child.

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 @triciaDSG2012 I found your spirit animal. I think I might kill myself to avoid the torment that is life. http://t.co/8qg9WbaC

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@mattDSG2012 Matt, my man, you're the salt of the Earth. Did I say "salt"? I meant "scum of the Earth".

[CB @cbDSG2012]

Going to a party. Time to get drunk, stand by myself, feel awkward, and go home alone. LIVIN' THE DREAM! #goodgrief

[CB @cbDSG2012]

@marcyDSG2012 Better rush to pharmacy and get that Plan B. The last thing we need is a Mini-Marcy running around being a skank.