CT

bury me loose.

[Osono Dakadjalan @SonofNiani]

Juneteenth parade
Corpus Christi, Texas 1913.

[Roukshiesty🏆 @BeenHim16]

Dawg

[Catty @CatWomaniya]

Even North Korea has managed a woman leader before the US.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[HEIR JORDAN @HeirJ0rdan]

Why ya’ll put Boosie in this? @X

[A ✩ @adryanashton]

ESPN slick removed the sports ticker that was showing their betting site during this segment about the FBI investigations 😭😭

[CT @cchaakaa]

naahh allat over poker is ridiculous

[Queer Latifah ✨ @TheAfrocentricI]

This is why you can’t trust AI. Please see what this is in reference too 😭😭😭

[Scott Free. @BRENTR4MBO]

🥲

[austerity is theft @wideofthepost]

A 267% tax on everyone to subsidize the worst hiring freeze in a over a decade, tank high school literacy rates for a book report cheating engine, overrun the internet with worthless slop content, and mint a new cohort of dork billionaires by propping up a tech finance bubble.

[🇨🇦CoffeyTimeNews🇨🇦 @CoffeyTimeNews]

Who wants to watch the majority of UN delegates get up and leave at the beginning of Bibi’s speech?

🙋🏻‍♂️

[VANITY FAIR @VanityFair]

Ta-Nehisi Coates on Charlie Kirk and the pundits and politicians sanitizing his legacy. https://t.co/ovxAOYRSnN

[Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat]

“I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational.” -Charlie Kirk
https://t.co/W9qMQw7KfL

[naomi @purewrlds]

charlie kirks shooter to trumps shooter

[eden riley 🌻 @peedenisonline]

imagine spending your last moments on earth staring at some college student like this

[Zito @_Zeets]

It’s wild watching an administration take over a city and use military force to bend local governments to its will and Americans are so bought into the idea that this country is naturally exceptional and immune to what is happening that they can’t confront what is happening.

[Asa @rogervilleasa]

Niggas played as a hillbilly racist cannibal but put their foot down at a latina and white guy couple