insaneinthebrain.

Donatello is my fav ninja turtle/ if you don't like Harry get away from me/also cereals are the best

[jj hartinger @jjhartinger]

You are the Friday afternoon office meeting of people.

[Falcon @jvesdale]

trust the stars
they never leave

[insaneinthebrain. @cerealmonster_]

it's sunny and it smells like spring. let's dance and dream. let's start over.

[Jules @PolishedByJules]

My 8 yo: "You know, this ruler hurts when you smack yourself in the head with it."

Me: *stops saving for college*

[insaneinthebrain. @cerealmonster_]

Y la metí hasta el fondo, la pata.
Natos y Waor - MIEDO Y ASCO [Barras Bravas Vol.3] https://t.co/GyAwuX5lnD

[insaneinthebrain. @cerealmonster_]

las distancias que se miden en suspiros.. https://t.co/Q5dV4n9GSn

[insaneinthebrain. @cerealmonster_]

"todas las palabras que te quiero decir se me rompen enseguida."

[dead phteven @PhuckinCody]

WIFE: Just go with the flow

ME: Maybe you're right, babe

THE FLOW: You coming, or nah? I got bitches waiting

[SΞASTONESTREET @clindsaysway]

*gets off high horse

*steps in horse shit

[Deeks @Adyaces]

Her: I love you

Me: Oh fuck

[jo @whatsJo]

I always know the right thing to say immediately after I've said something wrong.

[JC Tarp @jctwritesstuff]

Him: Damn, girl, you killed it.
Me: *nudges Whiskey bottle with my foot, it just rolls around helplessly* It had it coming.

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

If a guy has a ponytail, don't stare directly at it. That's how you get pregnant.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

Where I shop is largely based on how quickly I can get in and out of a place

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who WASN'T TALKING TO YOU HE WAS TALKING TO MAMA

[SHANtilly Lace @theshantilly]

I graduated college with honors, but that didn't stop me from cutting my tongue while licking PB off a butter knife.

[Island Girl @_Water_Baby]

[In PTSD Therapy]

Me: See I was in charge of lists for a Twitter contest ...

Therapist: This may take a while...