Cereal on the Floor

Because life is messy but so are you.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

*Me putting lights on the tree*

3-year-old: Mommy, you make Christmas?

Me:

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Chandler was always my favorite. My first celebrity crush that made me realize, “oh, I like funny guys.” Thanks for all the laughs, Matthew Perry.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

*Me trying to sleep*

My brain at 12:45am: Hey, remember when Tom Cruise had braces?

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

The way that “this is Bob Barker reminding you to help control the pet population — have your pets spayed or neutered” is forever embedded in my brain.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Me: *purchases cotton candy*
Kid 1: You’re the best mom ever!
Kid 2: It tastes like a blanket.

[Lakyn Thee Stylist @OgLakyn]

Get this baby on the red carpet, these critiques are all we need!

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

@OgLakyn thank you so much for sharing!

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Me: How was lunch?

Kindergartener: Good! I ate all my corn. All the way to the juice.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Before kids, I thought of myself as a pretty well-adjusted person. Now, I cry during Sing 2.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

I made glitter slime with the kids today, so yeah, I’m ready for winter break to be over.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

LED Christmas lights are trash. I don’t care about energy efficiency when my eyeballs are being assaulted.

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

Welcome to your 40's. One day you'll turn on subtitles because you can't understand a character's accent and you'll never turn them off again.

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

That weird alternate dimension when your smart clocks have auto-changed, but your dumb clocks are still on old time, and you don’t know what year it is or who you are

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Real maturity is knowing when the Costco portion is just too big.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

My kid: I have a tummy ache from all that fun.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Just my kid proudly holding up a dead worm to tell me it looks like the number 9.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Daniel Tiger: Hi, neighbor.
My child: I’m NOT your neighbor!

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

5-year-old after an apple tasting at school: The red apples were good, the green apples were sour, and the yellow apples were junk.

[Cereal on the Floor @cerealonfloor]

Sometimes I’m not sure I’m qualified for adulthood. Like when I look in the rearview mirror to count my kids every 10 minutes.

[Robert Knop @FatherWithTwins]

I was informed by my 12yo that I can’t get mad at the mean thing he said because he “was just telling the truth.”

My bad.