Chase

All opinions are my own... or jokes.

Anything said here is definitely not financial or investment advice.

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

If there was a priest or a deacon named Alexander, and he listed his credentials after his name, it could read:

Al, Pastor.

[Kyle Umlang @kyleumlang]

If Texas A&M had never fired Kevin Sumlin and they continued giving him $2 million raises every 4 years and he kept his 66.2% win percentage, the Aggies today would have saved $102 million and had two more wins 👀

#AggieFactThursday

[Turnbull @cturnbull1968]

My guy, I live in Texas and not a day goes by that my power company doesn’t ask me to moderate our power consumption.

You must be a moron.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

What a rotten deal we made with Iran. We get nothing (except laughter at our stupidity). They get everything, including delay and big cash!

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Dear Joe,
I wish I could sit down with you face to face and explain why so many of us were offended by the UFC fight on the South Lawn of the White House.
For me, it had nothing to do with the UFC or who showed up for the fights. The brand you and Dana have built is a bona fide American success story. More power to you. As for the fighters, in my book, anyone brave enough to put it all on the line in the arena is remarkable to witness. Their dedication and discipline inspire me. I don’t understand anyone who can’t admire that.
And as for the people who attended, I, for one, love Shane Gillis. I think he’s hilarious and brilliant. It was a show. A once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. I can’t blame anyone for wanting to witness it firsthand.
My problem is that I believe some of our public spaces are sacred. And unlike many of the great powers that came before us, these American monuments belong to all of us. Not to whoever happens to hold power at the moment.
The White House does not belong to Donald Trump. It does not belong to any President. It belongs to the people. To treat it as Caesar treated the Colosseum is antithetical to everything our founding fathers fought for.
This is not Rome. Presidents are not emperors doling out bread and circuses for the peasants. The White House is the People’s House. This “celebration” could have happened in any stadium within a stone’s throw of the South Lawn. No one would have had an issue with it.
But that was obviously Donald Trump’s whole point. By holding the event on the South Lawn, what he was saying to the rest of us is:
“This is my house. I own it. I will do with it what I please. I’ll build a colosseum and have the gladiators fight under my gaze. I’ll tear down the East Wing. I’ll pave over the Rose Garden. I’ll cover everything in gold and marble. I’ll erase the names of all the men who came before me.”
The fights were an exhibition of imperial domination, not a celebration of our 250th anniversary as a democracy.
The White House is not Buckingham Palace. It is not the Palace of Versailles. It is not the Forbidden City of Beijing. It does not belong to an emperor, or a king, or a commissar.
The White House belongs to us. All of us. The person who sits behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office is nothing more than an honored guest. A temporary caretaker.
The President is our servant. Not our Caesar.
Respectfully, Hunter

P.S. Cage match between me and Don Jr.? Your call on the venue. Anywhere but the South Lawn.

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

Top 15 College Football Playoff teams that did not play an FCS team:

10. Notre Dame
13. Texas

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

An interesting twist in my life is I give so many gynecologist referrals.

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

@nikicaga For some reason, everyone thinks preferred names or name changes are some big gotcha. Ie: "Ted" Cruz, "Beto", or even referencing "Drumpf." It is so weird. Find a different way to say these guys suck... it's easy.

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

A little peer review never hurt anyone.

[RedditCFB @RedditCFB]

Texas coming into A&M’s conference, beating them to go to the title game at their home stadium, then mocking their fans with an SEC chant 🤣🤣

Big brother behavior. 🤘

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

@hankgreen VPs don't usually win.

[KNICKS IN 5💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡 @alsostephenking]

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

I’m no single-issue voter, but somehow I always end up voting against this…

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

Black beans deserve to be refried.

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

My wife asked me to kill a fly. I took my sandal off, hit it out of the air, and announced, "la chancla."

[MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch]

San Antonio Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich just delivered a truth bomb about Donald Trump: "He's pathetic. He's small. He's a whiner...He's a damaged man."

[Chase @chasehoffstadt]

@joeroganhq Travel to the vice president

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

@Lukejosef_ he has the ideal body shape now. he literally made millions from this body. im saying he would look more stylish if he layered and wore outfits that had more texture and complexity.