Bethany Garner

She/her - Small-time writer, big-time dog lover, composer of low quality Twitter poems. 🌳

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

@ladbible

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Life is wild - one minute you’re young and carefree, the next you’re thinking “gosh, I should really do something about that grout in the bathroom.”

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

@c_hacking

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for #HandforthParishCouncil council:

Jackie Weaver has
The authority to kick
You out of the Zoom

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

@TechnicallyRon Either that or all months are now March 2020 that signed up to the same free trial with different email addresses

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

@munyachawawa @Puregym_Luton Gyms may disappoint you but not Munya 💕

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for a heatwave:

Hot as a sauna,
Inside a larger sauna,
In the bowels of hell.

#heatwave #savemeimmelting ☀️🔥

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

The #coronavirus pandemic has been a huge test of leaersrhip, which female heads of state have passed with flying colours - why? https://t.co/PtnS1mZBvA

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for the frustrating inconsistencies of the microwave oven:

Mysteries abound
Within the food heating box.
Fire or ice this time?

#microwavecooking

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

#Haiku for a sexist mail article

Lingerie firm says
I’d look better with a bra.
Can’t guess their motive

https://t.co/eNN1JV1yUD

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for an understocked supermarket:

All these empty shelves.
Panic flickers in our chests
As we grasp our tins.

#covid19UK #haiku

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for an unsettling mug:

As I sip my tea,
Each mouthful brings death closer.
Memento mori

#haiku #strangemugs

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for a lady on the jubilee line:

“The perfect tube snack,”
She thinks to herself as she
Eats a cucumber.

#haiku #tfl #jubileeline 🥒🥒🥒

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for a Labrador I saw on my run:

Ruffled shining fur,
Hazel eyes soft and loving
Padding gently by

#haiku #labradorretriever

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

A sad reminder

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

Q: What kind of dinosaur loves sleep?
A: All of them! They will never wake up now.

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for an office bathroom:

Water on the floor
I wonder where it came from
Hopefully the sink.

#haiku #officelife

[Bethany Garner @cheerydragon]

Haiku for a hobnob in the corridor:

Biscuit on the floor,
Crumbling from an oatan edge,
Who abandoned you?

#haiku