B

B is for butts

[B @cheezyplanet]

Bf did something that was wonderfully childlike and silly yesterday and it took me so off guard that I laughed and then bawled my eyes out..? Probably something to unpack at a later day

[B @cheezyplanet]

Optometrist called and cancelled my appointment tomorrow, which is reasonable considering the recent murder that happened there

[B @cheezyplanet]

How come my job is literally a farmer- I am a farmer who farms fish- and I receive no less than 20 work emails a day and spend all my time on Teams. This is not the blue collared work I signed up for

[B @cheezyplanet]

My New Years resolutions:

- wear matching socks (this one will be the hardest)
- go camping more
- learn to knit (already ahead of the game on this one)

[B @cheezyplanet]

Ladies you too can weaponize incompetence! I lift up to 2000kg a day at work but when I’m around my BF I am a delicate little flower who never carries a bag

[sweat snap pea @marydashbeth]

internalized misogyny is out ladies
2022 is for externalized misandry

[B @cheezyplanet]

I want to watch Encanto but I’m genuinely afraid the musical number about “the big sister who carries the weight of the family” might break me emotionally

[B @cheezyplanet]

It’s only getting worse with time. I look like the heart-eye emoji over FaceTime

[B @cheezyplanet]

Absolutely fucking simping over a man I’m so disappointed in myself

[B @cheezyplanet]

@babelade_k Thank you! ♥️♥️♥️

[B @cheezyplanet]

I’m emerging from the horrific mental health pit I’ve been in since September, prepared to socialize and eat vegetables once again

[B @cheezyplanet]

I will NOT accept any Dwayne the Rock Johnson slander. Will his movies win any awards? No!! Do I enjoy the shit out of all of them? Yes!!! That man does it for US

[B @cheezyplanet]

Trying to take your sweater off and forgetting you have your glasses on is so embarrassing, even if I’m completely alone I’m humiliated

[B @cheezyplanet]

The feminine urge to eat the entire pack of Pillsbury cookies

[B @cheezyplanet]

“I wish I still looked like that” I say to myself, looking at a picture of myself from 2 days ago when I wasn’t on my period and hadn’t eaten a container of cinnamon rolls

[jorts 🇵🇸 @ftmensch]

if the “boss makes a dollar, i make a dime” line was real amazon workers would all have 19 billion dollars. if the “boss makes a thousand and gives me a cent” line was real, amazon workers would all have over 100 million dollars

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

Dune: “People use space drugs to travel through space and gain super powers”

Me: “Alright”

Dune: “Space drugs are only on a dirt planet with giant worms and also the new space messiah”

Me: “Pretty reasonable”

Dune: “There’s a character named Duncan Idaho”

Me: “okay hold on

[B @cheezyplanet]

Hint: it is not

[B @cheezyplanet]

When you and your bf have vastly different interests but you still wanna support them

[B @cheezyplanet]

The new parking spaces in the Hydrostone are the most humbling experience I’ve ever had

[B @cheezyplanet]

Absolutely fucking simping over a man I’m so disappointed in myself