Having a restrictive ed and being neurodivergent is so hard I either satisfy my adhd tastebuds we love food for dopamine and I have sensory issues w textures or satisfy AN and eat ana slop I cannot make either of them happy
when you start acting irrationally because of your ed but youre also self aware enough to recognise that what youre doing is wrong and you can't do anything about it even if you tried
I hate how the moment I start worrying about 'going from one extreme to another' my immediate thought is like 'oh I can always purge or c/s so its fine!'
What. The fuck. I hate myself and my mindset and this disorder and