corbup 🍄

on the loose

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

instagram ads: FOR YOUR BUTT ONLY: take our BUTT QUIZ to see what kind of BUTT MASK you need for YOUR BUTT and we’ll SEND YOU a WEEKLY PERSONALIZED BUTT MASK for $834/MONTH!!!
me (holding back tears & reaching for my credit card): they’re gonna make a butt mask...just for me

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@toadparade plus every time he hears someone say they use his bread book it makes his eyes bluer

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

if I ever went on the great british baking show I would pretend I had never heard of paul hollywood before. the man needs to be knocked down a peg

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@toadparade delete this. under no circumstances can he know that. I want to tell Prue that I think it’s nice she lets her husband judge with her

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@kaseydoesstunts EXACTLY they’re all ready to blow him at a moment’s notice…if he shook my hand I would simply say “nice to meet you :)”

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Me: Ugh I’m so hungover… is that Gatorade still in the fridge
Gf who has been getting really into parables lately: This reminds me of the Fable of the Pious Shepherd,

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@c8washere joga……i mean, there are violins? I will give him that

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

thinking about when I sent a Bjork song to a guy and he said it “sounded like Frozen”…sad but necessary for my health that I will never know what he meant by this

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

at work I saw a woman with a lox sandwich…I said “that looks great I love lox”…just trying to make polite small talk…she literally scoffed and said “if you like LOX you’d love this…its called ducktrap salmon…its far superior to lox”…I looked it up & it’s just a brand of lox

[helena riley @freshhel]

I know its a bummer that they started selling feminism merch at target or whateverbut maybe the solution is not to dress like shit and go “I actually don’t think women should have bank accounts”

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@yourdailymeg !!!! listen I’d like to think I have a lot of passion, but I just can’t imagine loving something That Much…enough to be the anime car guy…

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

Something about me is I can’t believe when people have anime girls on their car.

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@gennyble love you 💗

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@toadparade everyone has given really good suggestions!! spiritfarer is one of my favorites but it will likely make you sad haha. I maintain that you’d like undertale a lot!

[furby hancock @furby_hancock]

does anyone else think naptime is lowkey boring compared to playtime

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

I love to wear my seatbelt in quirky little ways that would kill me instantly if I were to crash

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

The only times you are allowed to pass on the shoulder are:
1. If someone in your car is actively in labor
2. If someone is injured BAD
3. If you are Nani from the end of Lilo and Stitch and you have to go to that job interview immediately or else Lilo will get taken away by CPS

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

When people pass on the shoulder of the highway it’s like… Nothing is that serious

[corbup 🍄 @cherrycocacora]

@toadparade AWOOOOOGA 🍓😛🧫🫧🤤