village idiot

Gotham needs me

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Can u come over so we can cuddle and rub our feet together like crickets

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

jesus stuns in new testament

[akunohanaenjoyer2004🔻📕 @lizrdskinshoujo]

he is too young to be drinking fernet con coca

[village idiot @clairewaldrep]

referring to someone trying to steal my identity (again) as “having a bit of an identity crisis” to make myself giggle every time

[justin mclintock @cutedawg]

i have a qwestion im11years old im a boy is twitter a girl website

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Trick or treat others how they want to be trick or treated

yo this tweet is so fuckin funny. Viral potential for sure. Put this thing on a door mat or a refrigerator magnet. This has got to be one of the top tweets of the year by far. I killed this shit. So good. Thank you!

[𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘇𝘆’🦉 @OvOBrezzzy]

God forbid the dog don’t wanna take the stairs all the time

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

the dog looking at you and wondering the same thing

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

tom and jerry ass injury

[lain @lainlays]

she's, i mean,, theys right behind me, isn't he?

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

“Wanna hangout?” Sorry but I actually have to stay home and clench my jaw 24/7

[village idiot @clairewaldrep]

if I ask you what your most beloved general home remedies are and root beer isn’t in your top three, you can just exit stage left bc I don’t give a shit about whatever you may have to say about literally anything else

[˖Ი𐑼⋆ @ghstprincss]

the lambs:

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Reminder that if you’re dressing up as me for Halloween you need to start not showering today