Cristian Almendarez

finding my damn happiness

[René @schizohustler]

just because you’re suffering rn doesn’t mean your future is bright and shit you might even die today

[cab🚦🚕 HEARTFALL SPOILERS @cabbagecristmas]

just caught myself doing this bullshit

[Mini Modu @MinModulation]

"bro I think the stripper loves me"
"nah bro. she treats everyone like that."
"whoah, really?"
"yeah. she loves everyone, everywhere."
"even with all the terrible things I've done in my rotten life...?"
"she loved you before you were born, bro. she IS love, bro."
"bro..."

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

Hey man, me and the guys weren't sure how to say this, but you just haven't been the same since you started those anti-psychotics. You used to be fun, and cool, and spontaneous. Now? You've lost your spark, dude. They stole your spark. And we all noticed, and like you a lot less.

[lint @swaggyKhajiit]

girls love me for my quick wit and suicidal ideation

[computer @computer1010101]

At the job interview They just asked me why I feel like I deserve to live

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

she said "the mold goes or i do" so i told her baby girl if i saw you go i'd never forgive myself, let me get the antifungal disinfectant. alas it was all for naught. i was hallucinating again. she had left me years ago. mycelium is all that's left now. god i love black mold.

[eveo @eveoart]

I made a rage bait bumper magnet

[Kip Conlon @kipconlon]

I can see from your pleasant expression you don’t remember me.

[a @DakHOF]

Ppl watching peak (Lanterns ep. 5) rn while im stuck with Brian Schottenheimer pigskin

[el ✭ @eleesalw]

Cowboys defense:

[Mr. Christopher @iamalmostlegend]

Man crawls through his phobia of heights to get a view of the Atlantic Ocean from the edge of a cliff. 😅

[Grace Cathedral Park @gracecthdralprk]

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job. You’re not gonna believe how I’m feeling now though

[John Attridge @John_Attridge]

I'm sorry for the confusion. When we said we "green lit" your screenplay, we meant that it would forever remain tantalisingly out of your reach, like the American dream itself

[fran @gutsfan4]

my girl said she knew a spot

[m ✰ @mar3uss]

Stole her crown and her wig the men in this show don’t give a fuck about nothing

[leize @leizepuerro]

Tier list de tetriminos

[father tommie @lesbianplagas]

everybody needs to appreciate my miiward spiral cuz it took me like an hour to make

[Brian Haley @brianchaley]

this is what i’m talking about

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚗 𝚔 ✪ ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ᴍᴇᴛᴀʟ ʜᴜsᴛʟᴀ @kenn_k]

caifanes, "viento" [1988]