It's 2022 and I have yet to ever see kids build a snow-woman- Every single one I've seen in this male-dominated winter has been a snow-man... I can tell on account of their snowballs.
#winter#storm#snowman#holidays#funny#truth#jokes
I was glancing at my phone bill and came to the sad realization that the overwhelming majority of texts I received last month were sent from my washing machine.
#popular#socialcircle#cleanclothes#whatsupdryer
Editor: A book that's 2nd in a series is a sequel. If you release the 1st book later, that's a prequel.
Me: Wow! Think I might have a trilogy here?
Her: Not exactly... What's a book that dulls my senses and puts me to sleep?
Me: ?
Her: NyQuil
#WritingCommunity#writing
Guys, I know that you think Werther's Original hard caramel is old people candy, but you couldn't be more wrong! I just tried one and it was so delicious that I may sneak another while enjoying today's Matlock after my afternoon nap.
#candy#werthers#original#old
I've made some bad financial decisions over the years, but if this Ant Farm doesn't produce some crops soon I think I'm going to have to sell back the tractor.
#antfarm#ants#busywork
@LLcoooltweet But where exactly along the trail do the m&ms grow? I think Twitter could help Trail Mix find better name... Like "peanut-peanut-raison-peanut-peanut- raison-candy!"
@themelissavegas An inventory of the missing items could be helpful... Good news- Its very likely you'll get your stuff back. Based on how she spent your money, the cops, and any other red blooded good samaritans should already be right on her tail! 🍑
Before leaving the legal profession, I represented Cher in her divorce from Sonny.
As details emerged, i found myself actually favoring her former husband, and I just couldn't take her money while I was working pro Bono.
#oldjokes#bonovsbono#cher#LawSchool#lawyer