cara

listen up, fives. a ten is speaking.

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

Whether it’s Trump being indicted under laws meant for the KKK or it’s Trump being indicted under laws meant for the mafia, the former president has a remarkable ability to connect with different constituencies

[cara @cnictweets]

@cshreve3 Bushelman!

[cara @cnictweets]

Core memory: I corrected my 7th grade teacher on a grammar mistake she had made on the whiteboard. Later, she handed me a post-it note with this quote from #ThePhantomTollbooth:

“A slavish concern for the composition of words is the sign of a bankrupt intellect.”

What a bitch

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

Opinion | I'm a Republican who thought Hillary should have been summarily executed. But now I think an indictment is merely an allegation and everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

[cara @cnictweets]

@colleencroskey Don't hate on emo nights, they are THE BEST.

[cara @cnictweets]

I don't feel so good.

[Arrested Development @bluthquotes]

She calls it a “mayonegg”

[cara @cnictweets]

Get yourself a hot himbo meat pie from Himbo Bakeries, aka @mtnewman

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Me reappearing in people’s lives after inexplicably disappearing for several months…

[U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service @USFWS]

A lot of y'all who said I couldn't fit this whole starfish in my mouth are real quiet these days.

[cara @cnictweets]

“I always confuse Hit Me Baby One More Time and Oops! I Did It Again, because they’re both songs about things happening at least twice.” - @LoganCC42

[cara @cnictweets]

Ope

[Vulture @vulture]

Pedro Pascal saying “I am your cool, slutty daddy”

[cara @cnictweets]

@lunettelore I will come to any of these.

[cara @cnictweets]

Matt Damon’s best role of all time was Carol Burnett on @30Rock and I will die on this hill

[cara @cnictweets]

One of my favorite songs by @JohnMayer is “Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967”

My husband just referred to it as “Jimmy Dean’s Underwater Sausage Machine”

I want a divorce

[cara @cnictweets]

Two night ago, my husband referred to the song “When Doves Cry” by Prince as “Dead Doves Don’t Cry” and I’m still laughing about it

[cara @cnictweets]

@VidsHales @IPSYCare Any update on this? I’m still getting the error…

[cara @cnictweets]

@IPSYCare The issue is that your site keeps delivering an error message when I try to go to that page, and has been for 2 days. Something is messed up with your server, I think.

[cara @cnictweets]

@IPSYCare Trying to pause my membership and I keep getting an error code on your site. Happens when I click the "membership" tab from My Account. Any idea when this will be fixed?

[cara @cnictweets]

Went to the gym for the first time since COVID hit and ouch my bones

[cara @cnictweets]

“When in Rome…eat Topper’s.” @lacy_bryburk @ToppersPizza