sarah! 🍄🐌☁️

I am a chewy rubber polly pocket shirt and god is a hungry four year old girl (she/her)

[sarah! 🍄🐌☁️ @coldplaytommo]

what’s megan thee stallions favorite kind of rice?

Basmati ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody ody

[jake @_jkpnro]

luke’s anti-cop jokes in the first few seasons are still so so good

[Sleepy time bear @bridespanker]

Haste Makes Waste.
Take Your Time.

[brian @brianonhere]

therapist suggested i was being too pessimistic about something i thought might not work out and i get to tell him tomorrow that it did not in fact work out

[caleb gamman @calebgamman]

growing up i always thought people passing off john mulaney’s quicksand joke as their own was going to be a much smaller problem than it turned out to be

[ヤ @MatekoBenzaX]

When they google it and you are wrong

[Solana @lily__pond]

Everyday has felt like this

[bennyboo @shinydragonball]

my roommate is eating a sandwich, stops eating for a moment and goes “idk i think kohls cash is fierce” and then keeps eating

[bunny @babybunnyrry]

“Here I am… Just as charming and sexy as you dreamed I’d be” hate when they know

[eo @eeeeow]

To me "I said" is a direct quote as it was delivered in the moment and "I was like" is a general paraphrasing of what I said that may include my interior emotional response plus the general unspoken vibe of the interaction

[Brack @brackNmild]

Those blokes are about to have their knickers blown off

[blue @bluewmist]

My spouse saying to the four year old about his brother, "He is telling you about it because he's excited, not because he thinks you don't know." And that, my friends, is also a lesson I need to hear.

[HSNews2 @HS_News_2]

“It’s a Saturday night… and I’ve got on a pair of slutty little shorts!” - Harry in London tonight

- June 27, 2026

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

they didn’t have my name