cade

scrounging around

[cade @coolhandlecade]

duolingo hitting different tonight

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Thanks for the offer dude. We’re actually hitching a ride home with my friend Reckless Richard

[ringworm @prawn_meat]

her lips were as red as hot dogs... her skin, as white as a slice of white bread. she'd been crying, and it made her eyes and cheeks as pink as a skinless hot dog

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

The numbers 10-99 are called "the double digits". Memorize them. You don't want to be the guy at the party who's never heard of 57

[cade @coolhandlecade]

me: i put the arm in armadillo

texas wildlife protection: stop doing that

[cade @coolhandlecade]

google? oohh is that similar to google scholar? yeah i didn’t realize there was a regular version too i guess ha ha

[cade @coolhandlecade]

ending my prayer by sassily saying "and that's all I have to pray about that. amen." and opening my eyes to see my entire family getting up from the table

[cade @coolhandlecade]

i wasn’t robbed “blind..”in fact, i was robbed “sightful” as the robber’s actions opened my eyes to the injustices and disparities that led him to rob me in the first place

[cade @coolhandlecade]

@dawsongrotjohn1 @Twins need more of this

[scary ruby innes @rubyinnes]

this is it. this is the one for me. its so simple yet hits so hard

[˗ˏˋ ryn ˎˊ˗ @onlineryn]

figuring out the tip on my bar tab while on the verge of blacking out

[gigi @420insidejob]

it’s cause you’re always on that damn spectrum

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Here are some of my best dirty jokes. They're probably pretty grating on the ears. Enjoy

[cade @coolhandlecade]

the only time i make a rash decision is when my dermatologist is involved

[cade @coolhandlecade]

abbr.?

yeah, i guess i did 😏