Col

Ex cop. Post humour, art and good stuff. My tweets may not be totally original, I follow all views without endorsement. LCFC.

[Col @countcol]

My smoke detector protects me from fire, carbon monoxide and toast.

[Col @countcol]

"Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order."
John Adams

[Col @countcol]

I'm not saying he's fat, but he's banned from family restaurant meals for fear a shirt button of his could pop off and hit someone in the eye.

[Col @countcol]

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that no one appreciates how difficult it was.

[Col @countcol]

Imagine knowing what ALL the buttons on the tv remote control are for.

[Peder Lindström @LindstromPeder]

@countcol

[(C) Hezekiah Moscow. @Oogway__]

How Can It Be Wrong To Troll Arsenal Fans??

[Col @countcol]

"Power over others is weakness disguised as strength."
Eckhart Tolle

[Col @countcol]

My weekend was like riding a speeding merry-go-round and Monday was like losing my grip and I slide off.

[Col @countcol]

If you don't know the difference between right and wrong -
Wrong is the fun one.

[Col @countcol]

He's invented a button right next to the snooze button that will send a text to your work telling them you are going to be late.

[chiky handler @chiky_handlr]

F**cking epic. Meet Kristen Welker. She just did what all self-respecting reporters need to do. She pushed back. And the Cunt of Mostly Crisco had an epic meltdown and walked off set. Ok, less “walked.”More “staggered.” Ah, I love the smell of burning diapers in the morning.

[Eric Alper 🎧 @ThatEricAlper]

On this day in 1967, Procol Harum hit #1 in the U.K. with "A Whiter Shade of Pale." With its haunting organ melody and enigmatic lyrics, the song became one of rock's most enduring and distinctive classics.

[Enezator @Enezator]

Some views look too beautiful to be real. The northern lights dancing above Alaska are nothing short of magical. ✨🌌❄️

[Col @countcol]

He is being passive aggressive with me, and it's gonna backfire; I'm gonna be active friendly.
Natalya Vorobyova,

[Col @countcol]

I didn't  make it to the gym this morning.
That makes 5 years in a row.

[Col @countcol]

Me: Anyone else get the feeling their being watched?
Alexa: "It's they're!"

[Col @countcol]

There isn't a single canary in the Canary Islands, the same with the Virgin Islands.
No canarys there either.

[Col @countcol]

"If you aspire to the highest place, it is no disgrace to stop at the second, or even the third, place."
Cicero

[Col @countcol]

Pharaohs were buried with their hands across their chest because of an ancient belief that there would be countless water slides in the after life.

[Col @countcol]

Improve your memory. Do unforgettable things.