Ham

eat my ass

[The Elysian @ElysianTheater]

TONIGHT!

7:30p - a coma variety show ft @boy__ocean @jamieloftusHELP @heykyleharris @benwassertweet @craitlinfreeney & MORE!

9:30p - @notchautauqua attempts to prove his worth to The King of Hollywood!

★ FREE SECRET SHOW IMMEDIATELY AFTER ★

Tix: https://t.co/t1e6sjQJUj

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

Having a good day. 5 years from now, when I’m hooked up to the Milking Machine, I’ll look back on it fondly

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

@heykyleharris Beautiful story

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

@robertecks @DrOz I can’t wait to vote for dr. Oz. He is the doctor in the wizard of oz

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

I beat the shit out of Dr.Oz in this video 🥹

[Dr. Mehmet Oz @DrOz]

This is Joe Biden’s America.

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

If I was on Are You the One I would be a little detective with a notepad and pencil…what are these fools doing

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

@benfobrien

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

Planning a wedding AND I’m suffering from IBS…. ..Irritable Bride Syndrome!

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

Only God Can Judge Me at Planet Fitness

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

Uhh…ok if you ladies don’t want the patriarchy… I’ll take it???

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

Can Andy Cohen let me have my own post-Plathville show called “Life in the Plathlane”..I know it’s on TLC but he has to have some connections. Thanks

[Rolling Stone @RollingStone]

Snail Mail murders a guy and eats some cake in return single "Valentine." https://t.co/bZDlMFjjg9

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

the bbl sys d n2 otrs a thy d n2 u

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

My job on the Love Island set is to make sure the boobies fallin out just so

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

@arifishbein No

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

I sent my mom a picture of my dog and she immediately FaceTimed me to see if I was okay because “the dog looked worried”

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

I take livestock medicine (Horny Goat Weed)

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

um hun…no one wants you

[Ham @craitlinfreeney]

Can’t wait for the season finale of Real Housewives of NYC. I wonder who gonna die