🐶

If God wanted peaches suspended in mid-air, he would've filled them with helium.
~ Sophia Petrillo

[Pampered Chef @pamperedchef]

Looking to build your Rockcrok collection!? Host a party this month and you could earn one for 60% off when guest sales are over $200. Learn more here: https://t.co/Bf1NmxV69O

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

I'm dead https://t.co/Pohc06VEy4

[Kermit the Frog @KermitTheFrog]

Sometimes the right path isn't the easy one... Especially if you live in a swamp. Most paths are pretty tough to get through. #wednesdaywisdom

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@FirstWorldPains

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@FirstWorldPains

[Johnny Taylor, Jr. @hipsterocracy]

Anybody else notice that Shithole is an anagram for His Hotel?

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@StaceyGillInk Oh. Emm. Gee. Is it a permanent fix?

[Zack Fox @zackfox]

who was the first nigga to throw a tomato at the stage during a bad show why was he strapped up with a salad

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Best needle-point ever…via Jill Roberts @Wine_Sailing

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@R_A_Dadass Worst. Dad. Ever.

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@TragicAllyHere I don't have one either. Do I need one? I don't know!!

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@simoncholland Because kids

[From The 🌊To The Sea, B!tch🍉 @MacgyveringM22]

I’m sorry you were upset and pissed me off.

- married people apologizing

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@Sydleaf @chrissyteigen @Pepperthai2 @johnlegend @jenatkinhair @mrmikerosenthal Can I come too?

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@SamPsychMeds "No, I did not say Samantha! AMANDA! UH-MAN-DUH!"

[Stacey Gill Ink @StaceyGillInk]

Telling my kids Imma need a lot of executive time today. #parenting #kids

[John Haydon👨🏼‍💻 @johnhaydon]

It’s so cold!!! But at least the weather has Jenny’s number.

[🐶 @crazydanemom]

@TheGoodGodAbove It's all your fault.

[Winosaurus Mom 🍷 @winosaurusmom]

I'm half a day into the New Year and my kids have already destroyed my being a more patient mother resolution.

[SammichesPsychMeds @SamPsychMeds]

My New Year's resolution was to lose my shit on my kids less.

It was going great until they woke up this morning.