Carson Walker

I'm political and I'm correct. I'm just not politically correct.

[Norris Garman @norrisgarman]

How is it possible that the most #woke #Oscars of all time put me to sleep. Yawn if you agree.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

I think that ever since the #metoo movement the #Democrats haven’t been able to fuck as many interns as they used to... so now they’re doing it to the country.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#AmyConeyBarrett was asked to explain what it means to be a textualist. She said it means to accept the meaning of the plain text. When asked for an example she replied: “Senator Durbin... your first name is Dick... correct? I rest my case.” #ACB

[Norris Garman @norrisgarman]

I just got a brand new #AppleWatch and already I think I’ve been #hacked. Every hour it keeps reminding me to sit down and stop breathing. @Apple #Apple #wearables @Mouseonradar

[Dick's JokeOfTheDay @djokeoftheday]

William S Burroughs reporting for the London Exaggerator has uncovered the “Steely Dan” Dossier alleging Trump ate lunch naked and nicknamed his dick “whistle” at a #Ukraine hotel. If #stormydaniels is the real #whistleblower can #Trump be impeached like #Clinton? #MondayMorning

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#BernieSanders has sunk so far in the polls it appears he’s had to resort to a publicity #stent to try and boost his ratings. When questioned, a Sanders spokes-intern insisted this wasn’t just some stent... this was serious... serious as a heart attack. Feel the #BernOut

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#JeffreyEpstein is dead while on suicide watch. So does suicide watch mean watch this guy commit suicide? Or does it mean this guy is getting to be more trouble than he’s worth. When no one is looking murder him. Just askin’ #JeffreyEpsteinDead

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#Abortion isn’t a #reproductive right... it’s a reproductive wrong! #reproductiverights #chooselife

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

This just in: Antony Perkins, reporter for the Washington Exaggerator, has confirmed - Bruce Ohr and Nellie Ohr are the same person! A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow at the Bates Motel. #FBI #DOJ #SteeleDossier #RussiaHoax

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

Every time I see a headline about that abomination the Democrats rammed through - the Affordable Care Act - I think: it’s unaffordable, they don’t care, it’s all an act. And now it’s #unconstitutional. #Obamacare #RIP

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

Love the rogues gallery known as the #G20 group picture. A real Murderer’s Row. #Putin/#Russia by poison. #MBS/#SaudiArabia dismemberment by bone saw. #Xi/#China how many millions? #Erdogan/#Turkey Ministry of Justice purge. I’d love to go on but all I’ve got is 280 characters.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#StaceyAbrams won’t concede the governor’s race against #BrianKemp in #Georgia. She’s hoping #AlFranken will show up with a bunch of phony ballots in the trunk of his car. Hey... worked in #Minnesota in 2008!

[Dick's JokeOfTheDay @djokeoftheday]

#49ersCheerleader takes a knee? She’s only gone half-way. If she wants to play on my field she’s gonna have to go all the way and take two knees. #49ers #NFL #TakeAKnee

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

Why haven’t any of the geniuses in the media figured out that the #memo allegedly swiped by #garycohn didn’t just disappear. Anyone with access to the file could simply reprint it. Duh.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#Mueller #RussianCollusion investigation = #WitchHunt #NYTimesOpEd = Blair Witch Project! A publicity stunt to boost sales. And just like the movie, we’ll soon learn it was all a hoax. Who says there’s nothing new at the Old Gray Lady? How about a new low in American journalism!

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

Who else sees #GDPR compliance as one big #painintheass? Can’t we just click to a website and read without having to pledge allegiance to the gods of #privacy (which we give up anyway) just to get past a pop-up? Re-tweet if you think this is a #loadofcrap. Thanks #EU.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

What a contrast: Remember #Obama to #Europe? — “Sorry for being such a bad country. In the future we’ll try to be more like you. So please like me.” Meh. How did that work out? #Trump to #NATO — “Pay your fuckin’ bills.” Can’t wait for this to become history.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

Did that moron #chucktodd on #MTP actually say the #democrats need someone to climb on the #statueofliberty? I wonder if that will appear in the official transcript. #Liberals take note:This is what happens when you stray from the cue cards and try to ad lib... you bust yourself.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

My #ZeroTolerancePolicy is for listening to the #fakenews stories from the #LameStreamMedia like the current #rippedfromparents fiction which is just another #HandsUpDontShoot lie. Exploited by the #Dems and smugglers these kids enjoy housing far better than where they came from.

[Carson Walker @cwalkerpol]

#politics #government Is This Why Trump Folded: China Holds Up U.S. Pork, Auto Imports: President Trump surprised pundits and assorted watchers of the ongoing simmering trade war between China and the US on Sunday, when he pledged to help Chi https://t.co/eTGW0UZLSE