kc

I don’t get it, but I’m already laughing

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

They should invent a protein bar that doesn’t make me want to throw up & die

[insane freak guy @Beer_Pisser]

I kept smelling weed at work and was like what the hell who got that office pack on em,
Turns out my pen was in my pocket and the button was pressing into my chair for like a good 3 or 4 minutes

[52 rats in a jacket @mybrainisnormal]

am i allowed to say that i don’t really think the new phoebe bridgers song is good but im also keeping my mind and heart open to the possibility that i’ll like it more when i hear it in the full album context. or is that illegal

[Jordan @JordanWellin]

If I got stabbed and Amy Adams saved my life the first thing I would’ve told her after waking up is that she should’ve won the Emmy for Sharp Objects.

[Matthew Ivan @matthewivan77]

walking out of a film alongside the crowd and turning to a complete stranger and saying “that was such a you movie”

[Jesse Case @jessecase]

I met a friend for coffee and he was trying out a bucket hat phase. No warning text, no heads-up. Just unsolicited bucket hat. Brutal.

[nina(delphia) (existential dread version) @ninastarner]

mindy kaling:

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

Your mom was so right to trade you for drugs

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Ahh a beautiful morning… the sun is shining in Florida and the birds are chirping. I think I’ll log onto social media and see the response to my set list last night. This is gonna be awesome!!

[natalia @imniceandsmart]

tuna melt and a diet coke with lime and salt. the path is so clear for me

[Lennon 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @captain_homo27]

guy who does a little spin before leaving the cinema

[Daniel @pojkdan]

Tyra releases modelland

SHES COMING

[thucksgiving @TylerHuckabee]

the third haim sister couldn’t go because she couldn’t think of a good name for the shirt. she suggested “knicks offerman” and the others locked her in the bathroom for the entirety of the evening. they just left her there.

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

when something unlucky happens to your magical-thinking prone friend who is already unkind to themself and youre like fuuuck please don't internalise this

[varun shetty @Varun]

hey do you want to watch the knicks game at the palantir popup in the west village. heard about it via a substack i follow by someone in the new media cohort from a top vc. david protein bars is catering. there will be lots of microinfluencers talking about their daily routines.

[Clubratt ★ @clubratt]

Okay{]¥{${^~^]^]

[Zach Raffio @zachraffio]

Congratulations to - weirdly - all seven nominated musicals!

[chance @chanceposts]

At the show looking at all the band members equally so they know I appreciate them

[chance @chanceposts]

I am a people displeaser; you will be displeased with me

[clown baby @clownbusting]

goodwill manager just walked in on me naked and vaping #lawsuit