darian helgerson

I eat way too much macncheese to be considered a functioning adult 🤷🏻‍♀️ #usf2018

[darian helgerson @d_helg]

We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we chose to act on; that's who we truly are.

[Retik Finance Technical Team @Retiktechteam]

Y'all I'm upset I really thought I was gonna fuck em up with this one

[hugo @toasteredbread]

cons of drinking alcohol:
-liquifies your insides the next day
-sometimes makes you sad for no reason
-tastes like garbage
-brain has to reboot for the next 48 hours
-literally poison
-could actually kill you

pros of drinking alcohol:
-fun juice makes me go haha have fun

[지영 @KassiBellll]

Me: Dad do a jumping pic they look cool
Dad:

[john is toast @johnistoasted]

Me: are you an ass or tit guy

The pope:

Me: 😀

The pope:

Me: 🙂

The pope:

Me: 😔

The pope: definitely tits

Me: 😀

[darian helgerson @d_helg]

@TylerWortmann Amen 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[684L @Kennyhana__]

When you’re in class having a political debate and quickly find out what classmates to stay away from.

[andrew @uppercunting]

me, your server, when i go back to the kitchen: "FUCK ya chicken strips!!!"

[Co D. Ranks @CRankinit69]

My bop it: bop it

Me: *bops it*

Bop it: oh yeah, twist it

Me: uhh weird *twists it*

Bop it: pull it

Me: *pulls it*

Bop it: HARDER

Me: ..... wtf

Bop it: fuck me

[Palmer @PalmerWenzel]

Today at camp
- a kid cried because he thought his dad was leaving him at camp forever
- a kid couldn’t find his hat & it was on his head
- a kid cried because it wasn’t lunchtime
- a kid cried because it WAS lunchtime
- & one kid wouldn’t stop yelling “communism will rise again”

[Lucky @TheChrisAP]

Man: You the only girl I talk to.
Woman: Swear?
Man: I Swear To G...

God:

[Em @EmPewinski]

I mean...what’s really stopping me from going full Donna from Mamma Mia here and just move to Greece, man? She didn’t have any money or any plan??? Neither do I??? I feel like I need to grow some balls and go.

[K. Alex @k_alex_h]

We have an intern named James. God blessed James with an incredible amount of confidence to the point of arrogance. God did not, however, bless James with any amount of common sense or intelligence. These are his stories.

[The Black Sheep @TheBlackSheep99]

*buys textbook*

*doesn’t open it*

*passes the class*

me:

[Aaron Rees @ArkalaDre]

I still don’t think enough people have seen this

[matty @poastsbymatt]

*using Ouija board*

"hello, is there anyone there"

*Y*

*O*

*U*

*U*

*U*

*U*

"ah damnit this is a Soulja board*

[shannon @shannincurry]

a dating app that matches horse girls with men who exclusively take pictures holding fish. rt if u agree