The World’s Okayest Dad

Inspiring a generation of mediocre dads.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

Dad hack: if they ask for the paw patrol shampoo and you use the buzz lightyear shampoo, it’s easier to brush their teeth while they’re crying, because they don’t close their mouths.

[Wes @Wes_Hamer]

Our release has the same feature! Elon obvi stealing our ideas

[Dads Gone Mild @dadsgomild]

Being a dad is like being the bouncer at a rough bar that tiny humans are overserved at and go from the life of the party to total disaster back and forth in a heartbeat. You can’t throw them out, and the music is terrible.

[Dads Gone Mild @dadsgomild]

I’m not bragging or anything but with the help of a home equity line of credit I was able to make three-egg omelets for the family this morning.

[Dads Gone Mild @dadsgomild]

There’s nothing cuter than finding your diaper wearing child who hid to poop and having them yell “go away”.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

I will agree there is inflation when pickles are no longer a nickel

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

Phone storage is full. Goes to photos and videos…

[erika tucker @beetsonbikes]

My 3 year olds love language is popcorn

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

Introducing Elon, a new fragrance from Twitter.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

the answer to most 3 year old tantrums is just pushing the phone in front of them. Just don't do it with window down while driving.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

5: what if your nose was a butt and all your sneezes smelled like farts?

[there's not a mommy blog or Neil de Grasse Tyson article on the internet to help answer this question]

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

saw a video of a dad mocking his teenage daughter by twerking in a well-manicured backyard with @WeberGrills Genesis Built-in making smoke in the background. Man, his back is gonna hurt tomorrow.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

Me: hey, eat your waffle. It’s almost time to leave.

2 year old (to Mami): I don’t want Papi to talk to me or my waffle.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

Just took the trash out so my wife could watch me pulling my weight.

I had every intention of sitting down in the garage and checking my phone but I left it inside. It weirdly felt like a walk of shame sneaking through that chaotic kitchen.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

After a long day of work, I like to come home and give my wife and both kids a big hug and a kiss.

Wife: you have 3 kids.

[Xennaissance Dad @XennDad]

As an adult you switch to crunchy peanut butter just to feel something

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

@NoFilterAnjali Peaky blinders

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

Dad hack: give your kids a food they absolutely will not eat and tell them they have to finish all of it or go to bed early.

[AetherLion @BadLionGold]

The best thing a friend could turn and say to you in a moment of grief will always be “I have bail money”.

[The World’s Okayest Dad @dad_nit]

I found my jorts. Look out hot dad summer.

Update: they don’t fit. Look out hot dad summer.