BiCi

Creature stole my Twinkie.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

Sorry Biggie, your murder will continue to go unsolved, as these goddamn luddites beside me at the bar would rather watch “the playoffs” than USA Network’s Unsolved: The Murders of Tupac and The Notorious B.I.G.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@iloveredrobot The 1994 Keenan Ivory Wayans vehicle, “A Low Down Dirty Shamu”

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@TenMinPod Coming this Summer #dumper

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@McfallandOats, until one of them puts change in it.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

Nice that my 1 yr old will grow up in fear of a nuclear holocaust at the hands of Russia just like I did. #russia #reddawn #catsinthecradle

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

...the irony of tweeting about this is not lost on me.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@danharmon Black Mirror 3.1 is gorgeous, but I know #meowmeowbeenz when I see them.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

Samsung should do a Black Mirror spinoff called Smoking Mirror.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@MrTrashWheel Finally a candidate we can trust.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

This season of #TheApprentice is a real clown fuck. #firetrump

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

#embarrassingshitshow. If this boner actually gets elected, it's what you all fucking deserve. Congrats dipshits, here's your Apprentisdent.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

Ok so the ruler battles in #XCOM2 are definitely bullshit right?

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

I just pooped an intact spinach leaf. What the hell digestive tract? Sometimes I feel like you're just half-assing things.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

Jesus Christ you guys. This JonBenet Ramsey shit is pretty fucked up. #murder #jonbenet #netflixandkill

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@danharmon please continue to do Sad Ed 209 for fucking ever.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

Blending in at the bar while 20-somethings talk about adding to the "fam account". I am the Jane Goodall of millenials. #crackingthecode

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

WHY IS THERE BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THRU ATM?! #ihavequestions

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@Thesixler but he's fat with lies and hubris...wait, shit.

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

No one in 1989 warned me about planar fasciitis with the tenacity that they had for Angel Dust and Unprotected Sex? #realissues #fuckithurts

[BiCi @daddydaydrinks]

@danharmon, you think that's bad? Reexamine the emotional teenaged Munich that is the opening to GREASE...Jesus fuck why did I capitalize it