Mike Oxlong 🤫

self-proclaimed vibe curator. dive bar connoisseur. bedroom selector. archive for random/manic thoughts. occasionally my tweets get likes.

[Alex @al171148]

The World Cup just proves that people around the world want to chill, drink, eat, and bullshit together

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

@bertandernieman @USMNT @Telemundo @TelemundoSports Read what the post is talking about

[Noel El Magnifico @NoelElMagnifico]

This is how serious NY is taking this Finals. Elmo had to retract his statement cause the city was like you a New Yorker this ain't the time for neutral shit

[Alex @alexxmalloy]

hunter biden summer, smoking cigarettes and telling everyone to go fuck themselves

[Brooks | 🏳️‍🌈 @brookstweetz]

The concept of Hunter Biden watching Clone Wars

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

Yes, if I don’t get my way I WILL do something drastic to satisfy my need to be fulfilled.

[David Rattigan @davidmrattigan]

buying this and then dying immediately and forcing my descendants to finish building it over the next 100 years

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

If I ever made an indie movie I would use this for the ending https://t.co/KTAsRi1NsJ

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

This instantly puts me in a past life https://t.co/jeBYevxFi8

[Kachii @badasskachii]

We are officially in World Cup month. Please leave your xG charts, pressing percentages, and defensive metrics in the club season. International tournament football is strictly decided by pure vibes, individual brilliance, tactical survival, and a random goalkeeper turning into prime Lev Yashin for two weeks. Enjoy the entertainment and put the spreadsheets away.

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

Ran into the older woman’s mom at another party who said:

“she told me all about your guys’ night and she really enjoyed you and your time together”

Was hoping to run into the older woman instead 😪🥲🤣

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

My weekend included work, work, seeing one of my closest friends get engaged, going out with a woman 10 years older than me 4 drinks while her husband is in the hospital, more work, & sushi w/ someone who calls themselves my soulmate but is confused when people think we’re dating

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

My life actually started at 14 y/o the second I realized I was a casualty of passive consumption. I see actual adults that are like that and I’m just so glad I realized early because I can’t imagine still being that way

[brian @brianonhere]

Chuck: Ernie, before we go I got just one more question for Victor—

Ernie: Chuckster, I don’t think this is—

Chuck: — Vic, Now How do you say “Big ol women” En Francais?

Wembanyama (stone faced): I don’t like the question, Charles, for me, you know, women hold up half the sky

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

5 1/2 months until Europe. Plan is to just grind until then so if I meet a euro woman *ideally* 8 yrs older than me, I can just stay there and live out my own master of none type situation

[Mike Oxlong 🤫 @daf0nk]

Lately

[Fiona Small @FionaSmall]

Me when anyone asks why I still use Twitter

[Zack Stentz @MuseZack]

I feel terrible for all the Blue Origin people (and relieved no one was hurt) but no lie, this is one of the greatest explosions I've ever seen. VFX departments are study and imitate it for years to come. Michael Bay is somewhere saying "Damn, not bad."

[wun @The1weekend]

first in my bloodline to smoke this much weed.

[Kevin Lamb @KevinLamb74]

The Phantom Menace presents the vision of a man with absolutely no restraints, whether they be creative, technical, or financial. I know many consider that to be one of the film's greatest faults, and George Lucas himself even toned some things down like Jar Jar and midichlorians in Episodes II and III in response to fan backlash.

But I actually really appreciate that Phantom Menace is arguably the one Star Wars film that just projects George's brain directly onto the screen with zero filters.

Everclear Lucas if you will. Such a fascinating, imaginative, and colorful movie that has weathered the criticisms and stood the test of time. There will never be another film like it.

[𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝 @Be_like_legend]

being a high functioning stoner is WILD because I’m not trying to “escape reality” - I simply want to soften the sharp edges of existing inside a brain that never stops fucking thinking.