mijo

oh wow

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

9 months from now a beautiful baby named D’nixonfive will be born

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

If you fart while peeing full stream, that’s called a Tuscaloosa Screenshot

[Smiling Ghost @PhrygianWeaver]

I love it when the postgame reporter lady asks the player a question that's one 75-word sentence with 6 dependent clauses and he responds: "we're just doing what we do baby."

[@mikko @mikko]

People born in 25 are 2000 now.

[doctor worm @awaitingtrial]

reading Ripley’s Believe it or Not on the train and shaking my head the whole time so they know I don’t

[tuna @Art_hropod]

The number is getting too big lets do another jesus soon

[ali @probablyalissa]

Bill Nye is short for William New Year’s Eve

[swagless @noswagordrip]

A second coffee has hit my digestive system

[CASINO CAVIAR @Yamscasino]

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

[nathan 🇵🇸 @moveimemo]

just had a dream where 9/11 happened again and they had no other choice but to call it 9/11 2

[garshmo @garshmo]

Jaundice sounds like a lovely old lady

[pj @pjayevans]

My buddy who’s a dentist told me they’re coming out with a new tooth next year

[ራሀል @AFRlCUZ]

I see why niggas turned 27 then died

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Being a little kid and drawing a cool guy and adding scars all over him like hell yeah this guy got mangled. He has not lived a happy life

[krimbo @fuckasparagus]

we as a society need to stop bouncing on beds you very well could fall off and bump your head

[Curtis Martin Sr. @Curtigga]

Woah buddy, this is not how this works. You pick a lane and live with the decision no matter how horrible or amazing. This is the absolute softest shit I’ve ever seen. I’m following this dude home and pit maneuvering him

[ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏 *:･ﾟ✧ @exnihaolo]

27 lowkey the new 23

[zel @hellozeli]

im funny as fuck but i genuinely do gotta kill myself

[ant @persistantz]

saying "you're tearing this family apart" whenever someone argues with me

[angel of love and kindness @RideForDeath]

Had such a good idea I got a boner #StrokeOfPenius