hammy from over the hedge

days without accident: 0

[Dovy🔌 @DovySimuMMA]

Why didn’t DDP just do this?

[mike @painbuiltt]

watch over him jahseh…

[Luc @lucyycheyne]

I’ve pooped in music venues you wouldn’t even pee in

[krill @anthraxp1mp]

Applebees had to narcan me

[THOTXBLASTER @mattxdierkes]

Mosh discourse. Hitting is cool. Do that more.

[hammy from over the hedge @danielissaiah_]

i love mike sahm send tweet

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Telling me beer is liquid bread like it’s a bad thing, bread in a can brother pour me a slice, bring over the peanut butter. let’s drop a toaster into the bathtub I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. No I’m fine, really. Also here are my most cherished items

[Pepsi @pepsibong]

When I die just throw me in the trash

[hammy from over the hedge @danielissaiah_]

spotify loves being like “oh that album you were about to pick??? we’re gonna change the WHOLE layout of the home screen as soon as you try to do it 😈” & i fall for it every time

[morgan sung @morgan_sung]

benson boone is kind of like chappell roan's wario

[Adrizzle 🇵🇸 @36_chambuhz]

If I had students I’d primarily teach by handing them a freaking packet

[Klonopin Centaur @facetedcarapace]

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for "the biggest one"

[John Halo @EpicMasterChief]

Marron 5 if he was gay: I’m at a gay phooone

[jeffrey @JeffScape]

I’m so hungry I could eat the barrel of a shotgun

[Crying Orc @orc1917]

my job is really stressful but at least the pay is bad

[trevy @chillextremist]

100 nephews vs 1 unc