Danny

Tweeting to the lowest common denominator since 1994

[Danny @dannysteww7]

We’re 15 years away from presidential candidates being grilled on their Venmo payment captions

Moderator: so explain to me why you sent a $48 payment titled “Gucci Gang Mozzarella Sticks” at 3:38am

[Danny @dannysteww7]

I get not showing a camera angle, but for the love of god, give me an Eddie Olczyk “What’re ya seeing down there Boosh?”

[Danny @dannysteww7]

Reason #10482 to hate soccer.

Columbus and Cincinnati are having an ACTIVE brawl in the tunnel after the game and the broadcast has been in commercial break for 7 minutes. SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES.

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@ShaanVP Send it!

[Danny @dannysteww7]

An estimated 42-45 million people went to 4-year college from 2008-2025. If we all pitch in $10….

[Drew Fallon @drewfallon12]

PHUSION PROJECTS EXPLORES $400M SALE OF FOUR LOKO, JPMORGAN RUNNING PROCESS

Chicago-based Phusion Projects is reportedly exploring a sale of Four Loko, with Reuters citing sources that put the brand's value around $400M. JPMorgan is running the process.

Four Loko launched in 2005 as a caffeinated FMB; 14% ABV, malt liquor spiked with caffeine, taurine, and guarana. The FDA forced a reformulation in 2010 and stripped out the stimulants, but the brand survived and rebuilt.

Today it moves in 695ml cans at 13.9% ABV across 16 flavors, with Pregame shots and wine-based Remix extensions rounding out the lineup.

Phusion's broader portfolio includes Mamitas Tequila Seltzer, Basic Vodka, Basico Tequila, and Earthquake FMB. Four Loko is the core, and reportedly the only asset on the block.

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@JoshLipnik Totally agree, city is gorgeous

[Danny @dannysteww7]

With this announcement, Fifth Third will be rebranding to Seven Third given the larger asset base

[The Wall Street Journal @WSJ]

Comerica is selling itself to fellow regional bank Fifth Third Bank in a $10.9 billion deal following activist pressure to do so https://t.co/HvhtJl6eds

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@hdubugras Hi Henrique! First time caller, long time fan. The chart doesn’t mean banks are “dying.” A large slice of MMF assets are run by bank groups, and MMFs are also major lenders to banks via repo/CDs

@brexHQ is smart and rocks, but this tweet is dumb.

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@MarkMaddenX You’re too harsh Mark, those 30+ points were against future hall of famers Justin Fields and Sam Darnold

[Danny @dannysteww7]

Hey @BarstoolBigCat , is it too late to get @ryenarussillo to the @stoolbeachhouse? I need his side commentary on @nickysmokess like I need air to breathe

[Danny @dannysteww7]

Having @mhp_guy on @myfirstmilpod was my nerdy twitter Super Bowl. It felt like @ShaanVP met a younger, hotter, Mormon version of @thesamparr. Energy was fantastic!

So I’m not asking for a part two, I’m DEMANDING a part two.

[Danny @dannysteww7]

Regeneron data engineers

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Regeneron, $REGN, agrees to buy bankrupt 23andMe for $256 million, promises ethical use of customers' DNA data

[Danny @dannysteww7]

You’re telling me we might get Liberation Day 2.0 AND July 4th on the same weekend?

Need to go buy my guns and fireworks NOW

[CNBC @CNBC]

Dow surges 1,800 points after Trump signals a 90-day pause on tariffs https://t.co/eUeVIYf4hM

[Danny @dannysteww7]

Ball is in @turbotax court for the funniest sponsorship of all time…

[People @people]

Teresa Giudice and Husband Luis Ruelas Hit with $3 Million in Tax Liens https://t.co/R8CtDaVkmq

[People @people]

Teresa Giudice and Husband Luis Ruelas Hit with $3 Million in Tax Liens https://t.co/R8CtDaVkmq

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@CoFoundersNik Hey Nik, I think I may have found the answer…

@mhp_guy

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@GolfDigest Tell me his Caddy is named Goose

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@MC_Cready Idk, seems like they’re going into “exile”

[Danny @dannysteww7]

Is this the “folklore” of Chiefs seasons?

[Danny @dannysteww7]

After all these years, there’s finally hard evidence of Erection Interference

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Senator Bradford Blackmon has filed a bill called the “Contraception Begins at Erection Act,” which would make it “unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo."

There are also fines involved, the third strike resulting in the loss of $10,000 from the perpetrator.

[Danny @dannysteww7]

@brosefstew You need to warn people before these type of fire breathing takes