Dan Price

Writer, Comedian, Inveterate Road Tripper.

Have pen, will travel. LIVE SHOWS! ⬇️

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

That’s nearly $3 billion a year!

[The Wall Street Journal @WSJ]

Bill Gates says his charitable foundation will spend more than $200 billion over the next 20 years https://t.co/AtFG0f9WFn

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

@domcarrcomedy I’m in

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

@DustinNickerson @FallonTonight 👏👏👏 long overdue!!

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

True, but then most Americans also distrust their doctors, science, and any info they didn’t see first on TikTok

[Axios @axios]

Most Americans distrust Trump, RFK Jr. on health: Axios-Ipsos poll https://t.co/M9HxPYimFl

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

This is the chair from WALL•E that people never leave

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

@realaaronweber When I was 10 I faced a pitcher who clocked in the 85mph range. I never really enjoyed baseball after that.

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

I don’t have time to explain myself

[Ryan Holiday @RyanHoliday]

🤷‍♂️

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

Reading about the DOGE project...

I'm hoping that, along with all the waste, they can also get rid of checks and balances.

That'll save a lot of time

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

It’s amazing how far-sighted Tom Clancy was. Debt of Honor is a timely reread…swap a few players and the dangers remain

[ian bremmer @ianbremmer]

trump isn’t bluffing about tariffs.
he expects constructive negotiations.

he’ll get them (and quickly) with canada and mexico.

china is an open question.

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

As long as they contain diced jalapeño as God intended

[Harrison $co# Key, Ph.Balance° @HarrisonKey]

Cheese grits are a vegetable

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Your chances of being hunted by a turkey are low, but never zero.

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

Some days I feel like the only guy in the world who’s never had to pay hush money for sex.

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

The reason for the season

[᛭ Ian ᛭ @KnightspurHouse]

Got him at last light.Neighbor’s front yard,20 yard shot.

[Dustin Nickerson @DustinNickerson]

Kalen DeBoer at Washington vs Kalen DeBoer at Alabama

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

We all know the #1 place to live is the airport Hilton Garden Inn near DFW

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

hell no

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

@BlevoComedy Anthony Jeselnik looks great in this poster tho

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

Teddy was the man

[Ryan Holiday @RyanHoliday]

“We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.” — Theodore Roosevelt

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

Pretty sexy. Bonus: smells faintly of Chloe perfume repeatedly rubbed into the upholstery in the summer of 1994, and also 39 years of Taco Bell drive thru

[Metatron @pureMetatron]

HOT TAKE. Nothing beats the interior dashboard of a 1985 Nissan 300ZX.

[Rob Mac @RMcElhenney]

This man was born 80 years ago today. He could still drink you under the table. He could still make you laugh harder than anyone you’ve ever met. He could still make you feel like you’re the only person in the room. He could still give you the best advice you’ve ever gotten and make you feel loved no matter what. He’s an American treasure. There is only one @DannyDeVito

[Dan Price @danpriceink]

@jzux Elmo refers to himself in the third person like Julius Caesar, which might explain why he makes me feel a bit stabby