holy crow

[𝕁𝕠𝕙𝕟 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣’𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝔹𝕒𝕫 @BazBombadil]

Waking up in a SAW trap like

[N I q O @NiqoNguyenn]

And jeepers creepers was a black man. Jeepers creepers was hunting down a bunch of white folks in SUNDOWN COUNTRY TOWNS. remember the scene on the bus?? He didn't attack not one black person. He nodded his head at them to move OUT HIS WAY. He aint even dare harm a hair on that black womans head either. jeepers Devonte creepers was not a menace. He was a got damn HERO.

[kyle @Caol_MacCormaic]

showing this picture to the guy at the dispensary like he's my barber

[Mayor Of Detroit @lord240p]

I saw this and chased that high specifically

[Employee Tears @EmployeeTears]

My job has this cool thing, where if you do your job very well you get to do other peoples jobs too.

[Dan Carney @DanManCarney]

Dressing as Chris Hansen for Halloween and showing up to people’s houses while they’re giving out candy to children and asking them “you see how this looks, right?”

[jordie @Rapidity856]

I be like

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

The podcast just said all 9 of my starters should be benched this week.

[COOLEE BRAVO @ItalianFiesta]

I just realized I can buy a barrel of foam Nerf footballs and I can bite as many as I want to instead of sneakin a bite like when I was a kid. I can season em too. I ain’t never used my free will da right way until now

[Dr. Austin Smith @defmetal]

@Dexerto Imagine a tense boss fight and as soon as you defeat it after many tries, instead of a victory cutscene you get an ad for liberty mutual

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

I've never panicked at the disco but I did shit my pants at KFC one time

[Robert Wilkinson @robertwlk]

I lost my thesaurus and I'm gutted.
Totally gutted, absolutely gutted.

[📸 9¾ Bruce Cares △⃒⃘🐝 @Bruce_Cares]

Imagine seeing your dad score a touch down and then him and his homie shout you out. 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[👣ℙ𝕖𝕕𝕣𝕠'𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖🇺🇲 @OfAthenry]

Geologists when they get fired and have to clean out their office

[Socialist With SE Asian Diaspora Characteristics @diaspora_red]

All the other Kirks with the pumped up Kirks better run faster than that bullet

[Jorden. @getmoneyjord]

That’s how Shawn Michaels fell when Triple H hit him with that sledgehammer at Summerslam

[۟ @ragingxngxl]

Do you actually love me or you’re gonna act like you don’t know me when I start fent leaning outside your job

[Ian Hartitz @Ihartitz]

My boy over there thinks you’re cute

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

“Everything” bagel WITH cream cheese? Sounds like it didn’t have everything on it after all