Dave Ihlenfeld

Written for Family Guy, Star Trek: Lower Decks, Malcolm in the Middle. Author of the book "Dog Days: A Year in the Wienermobile".

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

I hate being left out almost as much as I hate being included.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

BACK TO SCHOOL SALE!

My sarcastic daily planner, "You're Never Gonna Do Any Of This Stuff" is now only $9.99 on Amazon. Technically, it qualifies as a gift!

https://t.co/vuUb4HjOIp

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@RealEmirHan Umberto D (1952)

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@MichaelKenKen @RLJEfilms @Shudder Finally, a reason to celebrate Christmas.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@BradinLA I had it! Wish I never would've opened it and sold it today for $10,000. Biggest regret of my life.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

Gmail's new AI feature is a game changer. This will save me so much time!

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@ActuallyLewieB I don't think you're allowed to do outside writing. Please check first

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@MichaelKenKen Congrats!

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@ThatEricAlper

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

Worst 12 years of my life. #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@ActuallyLewieB This aged well

[Jeff Maurer @JeffMightBWrong]

Damn...CAPTCHAs getting hard.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

I’m on the biggest plane ever made.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@susanraehoward A beautiful sight...

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

🎵"A CHILD SHIVERS IN THE COLD / LET US BRING HIM SILVER AND GOLD.”🎵

Or a blanket would be great.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@mb_metz You need new reps.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

As a writer, it’s important to have a morning routine. I like to wake up, have a cup of coffee, and then Google which 90 Day Fiancé couples are still together.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

Real friends are the ones who don’t call.

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

@The_BigLG @RealDaveWright Can't wait to ask about your thoughts on Prussia's role in shaping modern European political structure!

[Dave Ihlenfeld @daveihl]

Today’s no good for seizing. I’ll probably just seize tomorrow.

[The Gimmicks | House of Chico 🔺 @therealgimmicks]

We're doing a Gimmicks live chat THIS FRIDAY on Discord w/ Mila Kunis, @RealDaveWright, and @daveihl.
Join here: https://t.co/675QiKDEUA